Songs that make you cry

...but I couldn't cry because I was at work and you don't cry at work!

Finally, the Bored Again Christian, put out a new podcast and it was his Very Sufjan Christmas (mp3), where it was primarily all one band, Sufjan Stevens and their Christmas and non-Christmas songs. Anyway, I'm listening to the songs and after "Three Ships" (I think that's the title) and the next one is Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing and I found myself near moved to tears. I think because of one part of the song just gets to me:

...Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

At least it wasn't Mahalia Jackson's His Eye is On the Sparrow, then I would have burst out crying.

One Jewish view of the X-mas bruhaha

CH sent out this letter to friends. It was good to read.

Recently, many articles have been published concerning the Christian right's anger about the amelioration of the word "Christmas" from retail establishments and schools. Although, the right's assertions are a bit overblown, there has been a dilution of Christmas into the muck that has come to be know as "Christmakwaanzakah". Since I have read nothing concerning the Jewish point of view, I am hoping that none of you will mind if I use my holiday greeting to express my opinions on the subject.

In a misguided attempt to offend nobody, our society has become one that offends everybody by throwing individual traditions into one group pot. This time of year it is most apparent with the muddy stew composed of three holidays of different genres and weight.

Chanukah commemorates victory over the Assyrian-Greek armies attempts at obliterating Judaism.The holiday is a celebration of the Jewish people's freedom and ability to serve G-d, but does not serve G-d directly. Its significance is not on par with Rosh Hashannah, Yom Kippur, Passover, or any of the holidays commanded in the Torah.

Kwaanza is a modern holiday, created in the '60s to demonstrate black pride and reconnect black Americans to their ancestral past. Its significance is cultural, but not religious.

Christmas, along with Easter is the foundation of the Christian faith.

As a Jewish woman, it embarrasses me when my commemorative semi-religious holiday is equated with one of extreme spiritual significance for Christians. It also offends me that my holiday is only recognized as a part of a Christian holiday season. I am appreciative of holiday greetings, but if the greater society needs to recognize me in the name of diversity, I suggest Autumn, a time of Jewish spiritual reflection, as the season for Jewish holiday songs and media attention. Besides, if we truly want to be all inclusive this time of year, we will need a much longer holiday name. How about "Christma-kwaanza-kah-dawali-eid..."

Please forgive me for my pontification and whatever you are celebrating this holiday season, I hope it is happy and that you all have a chance to reflect on the purposes of your celebrations.

What kinda Catholic Am I?

Considering I'm an Anglican....

You scored as New Catholic. The years following the Second Vatican Council was a time of collapse of the Catholic faith and its traditions. But you are a young person who has rediscovered this lost faith, probably due to the evangelization of Pope John Paul II. You are enthusiastic, refreshing, and somewhat traditional, and you may be considering a vocation to the priesthood or religious life. You reject relativism and the decline in society that you see among your peers. You are seen as being good for the Church. A possible problem is that you may have a too narrow a view of orthodoxy, and anyway, you are still a youth and not yet mature in your faith. http://saint-louis.blogspot.com - Rome of the West New Catholic 57% Traditional Catholic 55% Evangelical Catholic 43% Neo-Conservative Catholic 40% Liberal Catholic 36% Lukewarm Catholic 33% Radical Catholic 26% What is your style of American Catholicism? created with QuizFarm.com

Advent 2005

Jesus is coming.
Get out the good china.

Love of fathers

I'd been meaning to make note of a sight that I see on those odd moments I sit through the 9AM service at TCOTRRBP. The 9AM service makes me want to rename the church the church of the little squirmy people as it is a 'family friendly' service with the whole service in the program (no BCP).
Anyways I was observing the number of men in the church. Married men, but oh well, I apprieciate their being. One of the reasons why I like TCOTRRBP and TCOTGL is the male presence, a female dominated church seems lacking. But I digress. I also noticed how the men interacted with their children. They were very attentive. Not doting but a touch on the should here. A reciprocated hug there. My favorite was the pass off from grandpa(?) to dad of one kid as granddad held up kid in pew and dad, not missing a beat as he came back from communion grabbed kid and continued to the back of church.
The Church (big C) needs more of that. More loving fathers who do not shirk their role in the lives of their children.

My G-d

My G-d is a very mobile G-d.
He takes up the universe
but fits in my heart.

Pledge season

WAMU the only station I listen to is going through another pledge season. Everytime they do it becomes unbearable to listen to and nearly drives me to commerical radio. But I do wander elsewhere. I can't stay at WPGC too long because there will be another hoochiemamma women are nothing but sex objects song that will sour the day. I did stop at some Christian fundi-lite station, it was around Valentines Day because the main topic for the whole 2 weeks was sex. Well the married kind. Strengthening marriages and whatnot. Being single, it was a tad frustrating to listen to, but better than having sex acts rapped out by Lil Kim.
Well it is pledge season, again. And instead of running to the fundi-lite station, again, I've gotten a bunch of podcasts and made my own stinkin' radio. I should last until they are done. What is it? 2 more weeks of Diane Rheme shakily telling listeners to contribute? So far my line up is a bunch of sermons and programs from Episcopal churches out west, the Bored Again Christian, for music, a few radio plays, Catholic broadcast stuff, the Catholic Insider (or Dutch priest walks around town), other NPR and PBS podcasts, and my own music. Yeah that works.

Cultural Catholic

"You are a WASP/Convert"


You've been to a parish bingo game once. Don't
worry, we won't tell. After all, WASPs are
allowed in the Church as well.

We just don't trust you very much.

Provided by


Are You A Cultural Catholic?
brought to you by Quizilla

Regarding belief

I do honestly believe in the Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, of all that is seen and unseen, yadda, yadda, nicene creed yadda. Really. No joke. I kid you not.
Believe me if I didn't believe and have a small amount of interest in learning about the 3-in-1 deal called G-d, I'd get more sleep and make better use of my Sundays.
It is not about being good or a nice person. Which I can fail at on a regular basis. It shouldn't be about getting into heaven for the sake of avoiding hell. It's about him.
So when members of my faith go on about little changes in theology I find it problematic because I think it is getting in the way of true worship. The changes seem to focus on making us nice people and less on being his people.
But what do I know? I'm just a pew warmer.

5pm or 11:15am?

Decisions, decisions. If I go to the 5pm 'sinners service' at the CotRRBP I can wear whatever and sleep late. If I go to the 11:15 service at the CotGL then I just might hit the tail end of the Dupont Circle farmer's market and get milk made by happy cows.
Nope, theology not an issue, but I do wonder if G-d said you have to wake up early on the Sabbath (yeah, I know sabboth is really friday evening till sometime saturday) and wear something nice.

You know 5pm mass is laid back, but really.

You know when your church's 5pm sinner's service is laid back when your priest's cell phone goes off in the middle of the sermon and no one gives him any flak for it. Last Sunday, I was going for a church marathon. 5pm service at the Church of the Blonde People, then hurry over to St. Paul's for evensong and an outing with the 20s and 30s group.
5pm service at Christ Church is more relaxed than my usual 11am service. You can show up in shorts, t-shirt and flip flops at 5. The priest, in this case Fr. Kentworthy, was in full anglo regalia, regardless of the time. I guess the full vestmests got in the way of him getting to his phone to turn it off. His voice never wavered as it rang, and rang and rang again. Either the person calling gave up or there was a short limit on rings. After that the phone was forgotten.
Laid back, casual and Rite II.

Orthodox outing

Well Saturday I met Federica Mathewes-Green in person. Wow!
I knew Bruce was dragging us, us being Charles, Corey, Bill & Catherine, and myself to Fr. Mathewes-Green's church Holy Cross out in BFE, MD. Since he didn't mention Frederica, I figured she had better things to do, lecturing, writing and what not. After the 1 hour long standing Vesper service, where I sat for about 10 minutes of it, we wandered out of the sanctuary and there was Bruce with Frederica herself. She was unmistakable with that long wavy grey hair of hers. Catherine was sorry she didn't bring her copy of Frederica's book to sign and promised that she will return to Holy Cross.
Then we went out for crab cakes. Ummmm crab cakes.

Forbearance

Forbearance is this week's magic word.
On the other blog I decided to practice it and instead of quashing a discussion going on in the comments, I just let it go. Eventhough it is my blog and my right to quash anything on the blog.
But forebearance. Fr. Kentworthy mentioned it but didn't define it, so a day after church I bothered looking it up. I figured if it is something I'm supposed to be practicing I should look it up and go back to not practicing all the other stuff I should be doing. I can hold back and give others leeway. I do it all the time. Mainly out of shear sloth. Who knew, laziness as a possible virtue?

Gonna be lazy today

Going to the 5pm service at the Church of the Blonde People and then the cookout at the Church of the non-Roman Catholics/Church of the Gay Lawyer. Which I emailed late about. Might just bring my salad and go home.

And you shall always have your poor

I didn't go to church today, so if I die before taking communion again, I'm goin' to Hell. Okay maybe not with G-d's grace.

Recently there was the Live 8 concert and soon the One campaign will start to "make poverty history." That's nice. However I am a pessimist, the only way to make poverty history is to wipe out the human race, or at least leave one human. If I wasn't too lazy to go upstairs and grab my bible I would hunt down the exact phrase but Jesus said to Judas, when Judas was being a prick, that we will always have the poor, or the poor shall always be with you.
The context is Jesus telling Judas to shut up about the expensive oil that the women (Mary, Martha, Mary M?) was using, when Judas said they could have used the money better to give to the poor. So are we meant to read into the message or leave it as is because the main message was "Hey Judas shut your pie hole about the oil, 'cause we know you're REALLY not that concerned about the poor, ok?"
But I'm going to read into it. We will always have poor people. That is sad. But it is the way humans are. And no throwing billions of dollars at it will make it go away.
However, I think there is a glimmer of hope. We can try to change the face of poverty so that it does not mean death by starvation or easily cured disease, or lack of housing or clothing. In America literally dying of hunger due to poverty is rare. We have WIC and food stamps, non-profits with soup kitchens, food banks and churches that feed the hungry. In America our poor people can be fat as all out. Our food is loaded with calories so much so that eating the .99 menu at McDonald's can feed you, and kill you with fat and sodium and all sorts, but that's another problem. So we are doing a good job with hunger. Housing, not so good but there are programs, but lots of room for improvement. There is spotty medical care for people who can wait all day at free clinics or emergency rooms. Clothing, the church round the corner was giving away free clothes yesterday. They aren't the only church in the area giving away free clothes. Shoes are a problem, cloths or something to cover the body, no problem. Now compare this poverty to the poverty of some poor person in Africa or South Asia or South America.
Yet even if we could export American poverty to the rest of the world, the people are still poor because in their society there is a group of people with more resources and status then they. It is all comparative and relative. It would help if there was a better definition of poor than the guy who has less than the other guy. Because with that, you will always have the poor as long as there are 2 people in the world.
Poverty is not wiped out by making sure everyone is fed, it is more than that. Healthcare is more tricky because you need health providers (doctors, nurses, medical assist.) and you can't force people to be a doctor for a rural town. There is also a quality problem too. For more straight forward things like immunizations you can do good. If communism has taught us anything you can house and clothe a lot of people, mind you it will all be crappy but housing and clothing can be provided. Do you like the color blue? Yet in a world where everyone has access to blue robes, eating the same calorie rich sludge, in government issue apartments, and immunizations against the major diseases with free annual doctor's visits you will still have poor people. Because they will be the ones who have no options but to take the charity society gives. The non-poor will opt out or add on. There is no universal right to houses that do more than keep out the bitter cold and the damp. There is no universal right to clothing that confers status amongst your peers. There is no universal right, but there should be, to food that is well made and balanced.
The other problem with major actions particularly for rich nations giving to poorer nations is that some of the good can be undone by citizens of the nations they are trying to help. Pride, hate and corruption are the biggest enemies to pulling some nations up. Zimbabwe. That nation's leader is in denial that his country has problems. Aid groups are getting pushed out because of a politics. He who controls the food controls the votes. Corruption is something that can allow leaders to make rules that will keep the poor, poor, and strip citizens of their rights. Corruption can whittle away aid money by everybody from the prime minister to the project site foreman taking their little bit. Then if a nation is divided, like the Sudan, hate can keep any aid away from the people who are hated by those in power.
See so much easier than throwing money at it then addressing the serious sins of the soul that keep poor nations poor.

Sick

Well I'm home sick and feeling guilty. June has been a crappy month healthwise. I had the incident of the 1/2 cooked bacon, then the leg and now a cold. I'm sluggish and eh. So I decided I'll try cracking open a bible whilst waiting for the Nyquil to knock me out. Starting with Matt and reading who was the father of who till you get to Joseph, I'm wondering why is this important? If Jesus is the son of the Great Divine then he's not related to Jospeh so what is the point of the geneology? I put the book down and decided time would be better spent hunting down tissues.

Gay Lawyer church

Well another even numbered Sunday, it's the Church of the Gay Lawyer. Which seemed a little less gay yesterday. I didn't see the pew of 4-6 men who usually sit in the same pew, coupled up. I also didn't see the super butch acolyte either. I didn't even see the gay lawyer, for whom I named the church after. If this keeps up I'm going to have to rename it the church of the Super Catholics who aren't Roman.

Wardrobe mishap

So it seemed like a good idea. Bike to church in t-shirt and shorts, change in bathroom in dress. I had worn the dress before and it can be casual or fancy depending on pearls. Well I biked to church, had about 10 minutes to get ready and changed. First the bra kept peaking out. So I ditched the bra. Mistake. Although the dress has an internal bra it still didn't give a lot of support. Then I go to put on pearls. Clasp broke.
Looking at myself in the tiny bathroom mirror I notice I have cleavage. Ack! Cleavage doesn't belong in church! I have nothing to cover the cleavage and the top can't go up without losing the minimal breast support. I resolve to sit in the back. I kept adjusting the dress through the whole service. I debated should I go up to the alter to take the body and the blood. I hoped I'd get the side with the female priest. Generally I can give or take female priests, but yesterday I really wanted a female priest so that the male priest wouldn't see how low cut the dress was. My luck only 1 priest that Sunday, and he was a he. I never looked up during the communion. I guess he does these things so quickly (bodyochrys, bodyochrys, bodyochrys, bodyochrys) that he wouldn't notice, we I hope he didn't. After communion I left. Changed back into shorts, discovered the scruffy old guy at the church might be homeless when he asked for spare change, ate something from coffee hour and left.

Clarity

Well at brunch we decided that after a few months we were in fact dating. Then as we talked about our relationship a few hours later we decided we were not dating. I am thankful that we cleared all that up, because I was seriously confused.
Part of me is trying to be thankful that I am no longer dating a short facial ticky church junkie with an Orthodox bent and bad breath. The other part is just dealing with the loss of the whole "what could have been" that one gets into when one starts dating.
There was a logic to our pairing. He has a PhD, in a subject I like. We share similar political and religious beliefs. He laughs at my jokes. We're both earth signs, not that I really give astrology much weight. But logically we make a good pair. Sadly, there wasn't that element that makes the difference between friendship and dating.
Oh, well, back to the drawing board.

Lift your voices in song

From Church of the Masses blog, written by an ex-nun now in LA-LA land, in the whole Hollywood scene. She's writing a piece on Carmalite nuns and the nuns are about to die and break out into song (read it here). Problem for those of us in this day if we were to face our death we'd have no song to sing. That or we wouldn't know all the words. Maybe I could get out Amazing Grace, maybe. I know the words to Tis a Gift to Be Simple, as thankfully the Shakers were simple people with simple lyrics. Unfortunately, not a song I'd want to face death with. Of my Sunday favs there is Come thou font of every blessing, which I know all but the last which starts with

O that day when freed from sinning, something something lovely face

I mainly like the song for the part of

"Jesus sought me when a stranger, wandering from the fold of G-d"

Still not a song for the gallows.
I loved the quotes from the post. Which reminded me of a complain Brett had made about someone in the neighborhood who, in his eyes, can't sing. Well I know I can't sing, but it is self expression and so I sing, even if I don't know the words.

Train wreck that is the Episcopal Church USA

Over pre-theater dinner Bruce and I were talking about the church that we both love dearly and all that is going on. We also talked about it like a train wreck about to happen.
Supposing the train did wreck, what is plan B? My plan B is to go over to the Holy Roman Catholic Church. His plan B is no surprise, the Orthodox Catholic Church.
Keeping with the train analogy, I pondered, as good Christians, shouldn't we stick around for the aftermath to help the victims of the wreck? And we also chatted about how the heck we wound up on the Episcopal Choo-choo in the first place. Bruce mentioned the sherry in the dining car. Yes, the dining car is pretty darned good. Oh, and the people on the train, every passenger is delightful in his or her way. But Bruce said, the food on the Orthodox train is pretty good too. There are no seats on the Orthodox train, I snapped. My other problem with the Orthodox train is that it is not as global as the Episcopal choo-choo. The Anglican Express stops in India, Nigeria, the UK and Mexico. I'm not sure where the Orthodox rail goes.
I mentioned the train analogy to Rev. K at our talk tonight and he said that the train is already decoupling. But he does not see a wreck.
No matter where this train goes, I'm going to hold on and brace myself until the train does hit the brick wall of schism.

Yeah, it was over the top

So I went to the Church of the Gay Lawyer and they had a special mass with violins, a cello, girls and boys choir, a few of the regular choir members and Mozart thrown in for good measure. Put that on the regular high why-don't-you-just-call-yerselves catholic mass and well it was a itsy bisty bit too much. I was warned, but I went anyway to see Bruce.

That's it

I've decided my church's website is evil and the child of satan. You can't navigate it, or find anything. I had to hit F11 to get the navigational bar. If I didn't do that I could have thought it was nothing but a big jpg of the church interior. Would bad web design keep seekers from finding Christ?

Easter Yea!

Christ has died
Christ has risen
Christ will come again.
So look busy.

Easter has come, lent is over and carbs may enter my mouth freely. There is a box of thin mints and a bowl of Hagen Das waiting for me upstairs so I'm signing off and pigging out.

Closer to G-d, or further from sin

I'm so happy.
Gn, a professional collegue who I've engaged as a friend is getting better. For those who know, and Gn knows, I have never approved of his social life. In my eyes Gn is scum when it comes to women, exploiting their poor self esteem, and using them for sex. When he has spoken of his dates, and past relationships after his divorce the central theme in his relationships seem to be focused on one thing, sex. Not common interests, just sex. A typical date with Glen would be to join him in his tiny apartment, watch porn and get it on. Horrid. I was almost at a loss for words when I had to explain what a platonic relationship was, because it was a foreign idea to him. Strange, have a relationship with a woman where the goal is not to get in bed with her, whodathunkit?
Well driving me to the metro station he revealed that for the past year maybe, he has had several platonic relationships, and he thinks he likes it.
I had tried to introduce him to, although one would think he'd already been exposed to relationships with others based on something other than work and sex. Common interests. I've had him over to eat with Mike & Jon, I've 'forced' him to eat at a sit down restaurant with me just to show him you can have a good time with your clothes on.
Anyway, I'm just thrilled Gn is pursuing platonic relationships.

Celibate in the City

That's what we called our weekend, as ET was trying to get out the house and away from the gang of polyamorous bisexual pirates who invaded her house that weekend. Yeah.
They are a nice bunch of pirates but when you don't belong with a certain group of folk and you're not into what they are into, you gotta leave.
Anywho, ET, I and Cathy the semi-Orthodox Jew, traveled the city in ET's beat up car complaining that it is so hard to find a guy who shares your faith. Cathy belongs to a large synagogue and mentioned that the only marriage resulting from their singles group was the one for the guy in charge. Me, I'm going to the church of the really, really, blonde people, which is made up of a lot a married people, and older men, not a lot of single men. When I'm not at that church, I'm at the church of the gay lawyer.... do I really need to explain my problem there?
Cathy mentioned J-Date. However, I'm really attached to Jesus and the yentas at the Holocaust museum kinda beat it into my head that one should not mess with Members of the Tribe, unless you are a MOT. Apparently that doesn't stop a bunch of non-Jews from signing up on J-Date and looking for dates. I'm not gonna mess with J-Date, but it was suggested that I go on the Catholic dating sites. Hey if gentiles can try to pick up nice Jewish girls on J-Date, I can try to snag a Catholic boy.

Over my head

I like the adult forum at the Chruch of the Really Really Blonde People, but this week, as other weeks as well, the lecture seemed above my head. The lectures are about Church history or the early Christian church in the Greco-Roman world. At times my eyes have glossed over. I wasn't bored but I was a bit lost, like turning up at a graduate level class without having read the assigned reading. I try to remember what I can about Plato, or all the things I studied in college about the English Civil War and the Reformation, and this creaky brain just doesn't work as I would like it to.
I will continue to attend the forums. When I get something it is quite helpful in shaping my view of things going on in the world and in the ECUSA.

ECUSA Church's mission

I really do like the church of the really blonde people (eventhough the church of the gay lawyer has better social outings).
So much I let them take money automatically out of my banking account.
So last week's topic in the adult seminar was on the two dueling missions of the Christian church, a) the spiritual bring people out of the world and the slightly materialistic b) go into the world and make it a better place. With that there was also addressing the problems with the Episcopal church and the church's mission.
I loved the ending questions of:
1. Why are we so uncomfortable with sharing our faith?
2. Is mission inevitably spirtual if not material colonialism?
3. Should mission extend to peoples of other faiths or simply people with no identifiable faith?
That last question I liked. The answer provided was from the 1998 Lambeth Conference where it was decided that "Frank & honest exploration of both eht common ground and the differences between faiths... a desire to both listen to people of all faiths and to express our own deepests Christian beliefs, leaving the final outcome of our life and witness in the hands of G-d". I took it to mean, be authentically Christian, listen to your Islamic and Jewish friends, and when it comes to judgement leave it to the Father.
Another topic the speaker touched on that I liked was heaven and hell. Heaven is where the Father resides if you wanna chill and continue to worship and praise him then heaven is the place for you. If you have very little interest in G-d then you go where he is not, he does not destroy your soul, you remain, but away from the love that is the almighty, regretting that you did not develop a love of him. To be away from the love that he is, is hell.

No one is safe in war

The Anglican church is at war with itself.
A neighbor came by and then another and at some point while they were talking the subjects of abortion and Jesse's mom, an Episcopal minister, getting kicked out of her church. I stayed out of it. Too many landmines, and when you are a moderate you will piss someone off.
I think I have stated my own position as pro-death, but mainly I like consistancy. I feel strongly about the state being able to put citizens to death more so than the protection of all life. But I feel that it is right to ask at what point do you kill the fetus, when the heart beats? When the fetus starts sucking its thumb? When it can possibly live outside the womb? Can you kill the fetus to protect the life of the mother? Would it be right to force a woman to bear the child of her rapist? To bear a child with a condition? But you need to ask and not blindy abort and not blindly keep an unwanted pregnancy without asking the hard questions and look for the hard answers.
Now about Jesse's mom. That's hard. She has done such wonderful things in her career for the church. However the issue, according the the two neighbors, was his mom believes that homosexuality is something one is born as, fine, I believe the same thing. Her church believed differently. Since church is about belief, the church was correct in parting ways. It would be no different if they had parted ways on the issue of what was the communion, or the status of the virgin Mary. Right now the issue of sexuality is tearing apart the Communion, better to part ways than growing distrustful of each other in this battle.
We all need to ask what it is that we believe and why. Why is something wrong? Why is it right? Can it be neither? If the Bible is wrong, why bother following it at all? Why ignore some parts and cling to others? We can gleefully attack our enemies, dismiss them as evil or blind or stupid. But does that make us better people?
I believe in Jesus Christ, a Jewish carpenter, son of G-d and G-d, the 3 in 1 combo deal that is my faith. I try to follow through the understanding that we should be trying to understand the basic of love the Lord with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself. Very simple but very hard. Extremly hard because your neighbors are abusive, lazy, nosy, stingy, mean, gossipy, lying, self-serving, horrid people with bad spending habits and you're not much better. And Lord, when you say love your neighbor what do you mean? Give them everything, let them run over you like a rug? What? So we leave it up to interpretation, and then get into trouble.

Traits I look for in a guy

Today it could be summed up in how he genuflects and recites the Nicene Creed.

Tolerance

My definition of the word is "to put up with". I tolerate my co-workers, the kids on the subway, tourists. Yet if you gave me a magic wand to make them disappear, oh those kids would be so gone, tourists too. It is a toss up for the co-workers because sometimes they do work and the product is decent, sometimes. But there are no magic wands to banish loud cell phone callers and obnoixous panhandlers, instead there is tolerance.
I tolerate these various things and people because it is the price of living in a free society. Cell phones are affordable, so people can have inane conversations on the bus or train. Children are free of fear and can move about independently on public transit, and so unsupervised they act as if they were raised in a barn. Panhandlers, the homeless (which they may or maynot be) are free from forced institutionalization. Freedom to ride the rails at any age, affordable phones, and freedom from the fear that anyone can lock you up in the looney bin is why I tolerate the things around me.
I have noticed in the current political and in my church religious atmosphere a misuse of the word 'tolerance'. It has become more than just "to put up with" it seems to mean "accept, validate, and support" which to me endangers identity. I am a Christian and I tolerate other faiths. I don't agree with them but I tolerate them as part of the social deal that I am free to worship and express joy in the Lord, when I cannot express my love of G-d freely, then the worth of tolerance is devalued. Please don't ask me to accept as a part of my faith aspects that go against it or weaken it.
I like Hari Krishnas. Had them on campus at UF. They had a big yellow house and sometimes I'd hear them come down the street.
Ching ching
Chingching ching
Ching ching
Chingching ching
Hari Krishna
Krishna krisna
Ram ....
They were cool. However I disagree with them theologically. No matter, they can minister in their way and freely express their faith. We all should be able to freely express our faith leaving from our own houses going down the street singing.
But I think I digress a bit.
Tolerance for me, at the most basic level means that the white supremist does not kill his African American neighbor or threaten him. He can ignore his neighbor. It is Catholics putting up with the Protestants and vis versa. It is tribe A puting up with tribe B. However such a peace is hard to maintain.

Brr

Ack.
I lost my post!
Anyways long story short, did not go to the Church of the Really Blonde People nor did I go to the Church of the Gay Lawyer. I celebrated mass at St. Mattress, more accurately I celebrated the 8:30 mass for shut-ins. Why? Have you looked outside? I ain't going out in that! Well, not until I have a hungering for a doughnut. I should hunger the body & blood of the holy sacraments, but, the sacraments where at least a 10 minute walk, doughnuts, 5 minutes tops. I am so going to hell.

Crappy Christian

I'm a practicing Christian, and I hope one day that I will get good at it.
It dawned on me in church when I confused St. Peter with St. Paul and the fact I couldn't name all the apostles and what their main schtick was, that despite going to church off and on all my life I was a crappy Christian. But a Christian none the less. I have been baptized, I truly believe in G-d, and believe that he is a three in one deal of the father, the son, and the ever fuzzy catch all called the Holy Ghost. I believe that G-d is love. He loves us. He is powerful. However, I'm going with the loving G-d over the powerful G-d.
Now despite this belief, when it comes to practice, I could be better. Oh, really I suck. I could be more humble, less materialistic, less lustful in my heart, more obedient, and seek G-d more than I seek approval from the world. But I'm not. Only by the grace of G-d I hope to hang with him after I die.

Shameless flirting

Well I am back to shamelessly flirting with the Swede. I don't consider the Swede boyfriend or even potential husband material as he is much younger than me and seems kind of shallow. But as I have said many times, "Swedes are FUN!"
We had a semi-decent conversation this weekend. I even went to a group outing to be with him, but the way things worked out he sat at a different table and I was with Mike. Mike, I love Mike. Mike is my best friend and if I die, inherits the house, but that night Mike and I had way too much togetherness. The couple across from us mentioned we bickered like an old married couple. We have been mistaken as a married couple and a dating couple. We are not a couple, we are friends, who bicker. I think anyone who knows us know we are not dating.
Anyway, I do worry about the Swede. He seems isolated but maybe that's the shallow end of his life and it doesn't go deeper. I know there are people who adopt him during the holidays so he's not really isolated. Well I think I'll pray for the Swede today.

Pondering even more divisions

Okay well maybe I don't want this at Happy Spinster. I was thinking of another site to create. Oh, well let's see then shall we because what does being conservative on some things have to do with being a spinster? Not much.

Living alone

I was chatting last night with Jon about my decision to "not be a live in landlord" anymore. Jon quipped, "well in this point in your life you either want to live alone or live with someone you're romatically involved with."
Yeah, sort of. Well I don't want a live in boyfriend. I want to be married, but I'd rather be single than have this male thing sitting on my couch and living in my home and sleeping in my bed but not wed to me.
I'm going to take a nice little break and live alone. Then later I gather I might have someone in the house. Visiting scholars, I think, next time. They come to study, lecture, or whatever for a few months and they go away. But that's business. Nothing personal.
I think I swore to date last year. I went on 2 dates with one guy. Well I got a new friend (platonic) and a new church out of the whole deal. So no great loss. No great gain.
Who knows what I'll get this year.

Alexander a really bad movie

I will admit I haven't seen the movie as my neighbor's review of it was more or less that it was bad. He liked the way the movie dealt with man on man love, but found the movie as a whole, a waste. I think Nora saw it as well, but a bootleg copy and her review related to the bad quality of the bootleg. Mark the Punk posted about Director Oliver Stone complaining that the fundamentalists are to blame because the movie is not doing well. No. Maybe. Just maybe. Conservatives are not to blame. Maybe, just maybe, it was a bad movie.

The Dead, the end of days and

In movies like Dawn of the Dead and the even better Shaun of the Dead the dead come back and are almost always in a foul mood, why? Also they don't seem very bright but they can always find a way in to get you an try to eat you. There is another "why".
Strange, I think as I ponder the end of days, which because of the deaths related to the Boxing Day Tsunami a lot of people are talking about Revelations. The Tsunami to some, was a sign from G-d. No, to me it was just a Tsunami. But anyway, in Revelations the dead are to rise, well I hope they are in a good mood. Will the dead, raised up by my Lord & Savior, want to eat my brain? Wander the streets moaning?
Just one of those really stupid thoughts that cross my mind. It is better to ponder giving to help the Tsunami victims.

The house & the single girl

I am lucky. I am single and own a nice little chunk of real estate in my own name. Right now that chunk has a blown fuse I'm not too keen on replacing, or investigating, or giving a hoot about.
Before buying the house I thought, for financial reasons, I would have to get married before I could afford a house. I thought I would never make enough money to buy a home on my own. Well due to some incentives from the city, and the Federal government and hitting the real estate market when it was just right I was able to buy my little homestead. The homestead mind you is a small 2 bedroom townhome one block from drug dealers.
I have managed so far. But homeownership is draining. It may help to have another person bearing the load of home repair, but even among the marrieds & coupled, I sense some fatigue. It's not just owning. It is the fixing because if it isn't one thing it's another and renting starts looking real good. Have someone else deal with the thing that goes wrong.
Now I was warned. That things would constantly break down, particularly in an older home like my 120 year old pile of bricks. I just wish I could pass the worry on to another person who has a vested interest in my house as I do. This is where being single has it's downsides.
Upside is that I was the sole decision maker on buying it and where. I make the decisions on the color of the house, what goes into the yard, how much of the yard is used for gardening and what have you.

Pro-Death

Though I sympathize with the pro-lifers I find in my heart of hearts that I'm just pro-death. Not pro-abortion, but pro-death penalty, and pro-euthanasia. The unborn just don't move me enough and I prefer to be more consistent than anything else.
I grew up during the time a fair number of state sponsored executions in Florida. Bad people went to prison, really bad people got the chair. Ted Bundy was killed in Florida. Yes, innocents have probably been killed by the modern state. It is almost a given that thousands or millions of innocents have been killed by the state due to minor or major infractions committed or perceived to have been committed. Human sacrifices to the state and it's sense of wellbeing.
The curse of modern medicine is that it can leave us in stasis. In a coma where we might come out of it or not, it milks are hope for a better outcome. It can leave us to mimic life, breathing when it is the machine breathing. It keeps us bound to the earth a little bit longer. Maybe that time is put to good use, maybe that time is wasted, but it is time we never had before and these are heady questions.
consistency is my main thing and as I have grown attachment to the perceived safety of society in these human sacrifices the state brings out, I have picked death. I know death, it is ceasing to be. But life is trickier. What is it? When does it begin? How can you say an undeveloped fetus that could have a sliver, just a sliver of a chance of surviving a moment outside the womb is not alive when given a chance just might, just might, live? If the physical activities and the opportunities you once had and made you the person you are have been taken away due to illness, are you still alive?
The best answer possibly does not exist in enough abundance in me to give. The answer may be love. With love in your heart can you look at the mother, the potential child, the father and the community of which the child may be part of and come to a decision? Can you look at the murderer or treasonous traitor with love in your heart? The easy answer is a forgiveness that isn't guaranteed. What of the suffering who are dying or may die or desire to die so badly, what of them. With charitable love, what is the answer for them. The world of love is G-d and I live in the "real world" where there isn't enough love to give and people are hard and must make hard hurtful decisions. In this real world, there is lots of room for love, but not enough of it to fill it up.

New Spinster

Well for the handful of people who read my personal blogs and the somewhat least personal blog Happy Spinster is a different side of me. I figure I should have a place to run off and express some conservative thoughts. As of the writing of this post I have a slightly popular blog of In Shaw. But In Shaw is almost always about the neighborhood of Shaw and is apparently enjoyed by a wide audience. The other Happy Spinster on another web journal area of cyberspace, is for some friends held in common but the atmosphere is more liberal, and I choose to be more respectful of that space's current environment, even though I don't always agree with the ideas there.
This reloaded side is where I hope to work through some thoughts on religon, society, spinsterhood, dating and the lack of it and whathave you. As of this date I am just limiting comments to other Blogger members, simply because I am not in the mood to deal with all commers, my site, my ball, my rules. Also I hope to remain true to myself and I may find myself more conservative on some issues, liberal on others, libertarian or *gasp* green/socialist on others. If you disagree, that's fine. My goal is not to convince you that I'm right and you are wrong, because we both could be totally wrong. No it is just me, working out what it is that I believe.
Why keep the name Happy Spinster? 'Cause I bought the URL and dagnabit I'm gonna use it.