Monday, June 20, 2005

Wardrobe mishap

So it seemed like a good idea. Bike to church in t-shirt and shorts, change in bathroom in dress. I had worn the dress before and it can be casual or fancy depending on pearls. Well I biked to church, had about 10 minutes to get ready and changed. First the bra kept peaking out. So I ditched the bra. Mistake. Although the dress has an internal bra it still didn't give a lot of support. Then I go to put on pearls. Clasp broke.
Looking at myself in the tiny bathroom mirror I notice I have cleavage. Ack! Cleavage doesn't belong in church! I have nothing to cover the cleavage and the top can't go up without losing the minimal breast support. I resolve to sit in the back. I kept adjusting the dress through the whole service. I debated should I go up to the alter to take the body and the blood. I hoped I'd get the side with the female priest. Generally I can give or take female priests, but yesterday I really wanted a female priest so that the male priest wouldn't see how low cut the dress was. My luck only 1 priest that Sunday, and he was a he. I never looked up during the communion. I guess he does these things so quickly (bodyochrys, bodyochrys, bodyochrys, bodyochrys) that he wouldn't notice, we I hope he didn't. After communion I left. Changed back into shorts, discovered the scruffy old guy at the church might be homeless when he asked for spare change, ate something from coffee hour and left.

No comments: