St. Mattress of the Holy Comforter

I try to avoid conversations where I will wind up saying really, really, super nice and kind people are going to Hell. I really try because I have no desire to be rude. But as of late I've been having conversations that force me into choosing to lie or be rude. My general desire is to avoid the conversation in the first place.
Anyway, I've been listening to a Unitarian. I don't believe Buddha, the Hindu gods, and everyone else's god is the same as mine. But I won't waste energy arguing this when the other person is invested in the all religions are the same philosophy. I simply prefer not to argue.
I believe in the great I AM, who is the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. The great three for one deal. I do not believe he is the same as the other gods that other humans worship. If he were the same as others he should have not bothered commanding that he is a jealous god, and the Israelites should have no other gods before him. That would have been a good opportunity to mention how he revealed himself to other nations in different forms, but he didn't. So I'll take him at his word he's it, the one and only.
Also there is the matter of Jesus. If you want just a Jewish teacher, go with Hillel the Elder. Jesus was the Word made flesh, the Lamb of G-d, not just some teacher. I do not drag myself to church almost every week, for a watered down deity, a nice guy, and warm and fuzzy teacher. If that were the case I'd switch to St. Mattress of the Holy Comforter. It is a warm and inviting space, with no liturgy, no creeds, or doctrine. Just think pleasant thoughts and feel the warmth. Or throw off the Holy Comforter if it gets too hot. Unfortunately, there comes a time when the Church of the morning springs calls and you have to get up.
Seriously, I want to sleep in all weekend.

The order of things

G-d, Family, Country. In that order.
Country is my employer. It is also the local government. Its laws and mores. It also includes the community I live in.
Family. Mom. Dad. Sis. Sis's family. Half-Sis. Cousins. 2nd Cousins. Uncles. Aunts. Distant relatives. Members of my ethnic group, sometimes. Sometimes they'll get lumped in with country.
G-d. The trinity or the 3 for 1 special on deities. Church structure. Community of believers, but they sometimes get thrown in with country. Add also ideologies, that sometimes belong with country and faith, which rests with G-d.

Recently I was asked, well more accurately, told of something where the questioner expected some sort of outrage or affirmation of their own anger at that something. I sensed their disappointment that I did not share their anger at the incident. I understood the anger, but did not share it. Mainly because it countered my faith and the Church (ideology?) I have freely chosen to adopt.
We parted and I let the encounter sink in, and wept. In the past few days it appears that the disappointment from the other person has not severed our relationship, which I value. Rationally, being of diverse minds and valuing different things, such an event was bound to occur.

I *heart* dystopias

Logan's Run, Soylent Green, Mad Max, Gattaca, 1984, Equilibrium, Idiocracy, Children of Men, Fahrenheit 451 (though that one reminded me too much of Dr. Who), The Island, and Wall-E.
They do not make me fearful of the future because I find part of the philosophy behind them flawed. For one I believe in rebellion. As long as there are teenagers on the planet there will be rebellion, and thus someone undermining the system. Secondly, there is a streak of contrarianism that flows though many of my associates and friends, which makes me believe that whatever grand scheme a government, super-corporation, Baptist theocrats that manage not to break up after the first year (Handmaid's Tale), or other large power that takes over the whole world, will be challenged, undermined, or ignored. Brave New World had the Savages, Fahrenheit 451 had the folks out in the woods reciting books to no one in particular, Gattaca had the love children (people who were not genetically designed), and so on.
The environmental hellfire and brimstone tv or cinematic bits showing a hellish Waterworld (yes, I watched it), or NYC of Soylent Green have their own problems. Humans are wonderfully adaptable. Yeah, a whole bunch of us will die off with any great change. But there are Eskimos (can't spell the proper native name) in the Hell I call Alaska and northern Canada, Aboriginals in the Outback, Arabs in the desert, Isrealites in the desert, and other people in places that are too cold, too hot, and just plain crappy.

Well that's depressing

Yes, many of you who actually know me, know I have a small vein of distrust against the government, yeah the same one that writes my paycheck. There is also a small, but not as strong distrust of large corporations. Mainly because no matter how big, corporations legally can't shoot you. I would say they can't take away your property or rights, but with lawyers, anything is possible, except the shooting. Maybe.
So I was poking around on the blogosphere and saw this diagram of large food corporations and their relationship to organics. Then I picked up my box of Truvia, the natural no calorie funny tasting sweetner, and it's made by Cargill.
I like the idea of small businesses and small farms, or mid-sized farms, and my food coming from them. Maybe I'll come to the day where I buy my chicken from small producers. But I'm not there yet.

Sister well and the search begins

The funny thing I guess about housing the poor is, when the Feds threaten to kick em all out and the people have no where to go (really give people time to house hunt), the government finds a way. So for now, sis is safe. Because really, in the paper they were saying that all with no criminal record and good credit would be placed in alternative housing. We all know my sister's credit is crap, so in that scenario the family would be living under a bridge. Part of me knows that my sister may screw me with the whole house buying proposal, because of what stems from the bad credit. It's not like she doesn't have or can't get the money, it's just that she finds other things to spend the money on.
Anyway, the Realtor thinks if I buy a short sale I'd be getting a really good deal because the bank would be eating a lot of the value. Let's say for fun, I was looking at a house listed at $40K. The house might be valued at 85K. It's up to the bank to decide if they want to eat $45K. The bank may take 3-4 months to decide that. Knowing sis is in no rush to move, I can wait.
I also found it humorous what the agent calls, needing work. New carpet and updating. My goal, something better than the rat hole mom lives in. The same rat hole mom refuses to leave. Of relatives willing to leave rat holes, is my sister's family, so for her, I look for housing. Besides they are all young enough to do improvement work. Mom, not so much.
Hopefully, this week the relatives will be shown the inside of one house I can afford. As far as I'm concerned, if the roof doesn't leak, the electricity doesn't spark and the water runs clear good enough. Stoves, fridges, carpet and A/C units can be bought. So I await to hear from them.

Florida Property Cheap

I could fix my basement or I could buy property in Florida.
Florida is on sale.
So that's how I see it.
So I have it in my head that I'm going to buy investment property in my hometown. I saw something on-line cheap. Dirt cheap. I could write a check for it cheap. So I contacted a real estate agent and I've been getting emails.
I've been looking on-line at properties, calling Mom up and asking her to drive by them. The 1st cheap property has title issues and its in an historic district, so no.
Anyway my plans are to get in a decent financial situation and go down to Florida, look at a few properties, buy something and have my sister and her family move in and deal with maintenance and taxes while I let time and development increase the value of my investment.
Called up Mom today, and she informed me that the city is going to condemn my sister's apartment building. Rush job on the property search. And because of the rush, I can't just look for a fixer upper, buy it free and clear, and fix it whenever. Crap. I need to find something I can put my sister in now and I may need to carry a mortgage. Shyte.

Unplanned

As I remember Mom telling me of my conception, I came forth via a lack of action, or laziness. I have taken that theme of laziness to heart. But all in all I think I was unplanned. I was an unplanned pregnancy. Not unwanted, just, we didn't really plan, but you can and we're happy you're here kind of thing. That what I thought of when I couple sort of announced their coming child. It wasn't like they were trying to get pregnant, but it "just happened" and they are looking forward to becoming parents. Yay.
The small people, my nieces and nephew were definitely unplanned and their arrival worrisome. But now, I'm happy they are all here, regardless of who their guardians all happen to be. My sister was on birth control however, its proper administration and practice was not a top priority for her, add sex and tada, kids.
I think of all the other stuff that just happens, that isn't really planned. Some of the people I work with were not history majors, somehow they wound up working with history. We do plan for some stuff, to employed doing something is the general plan, to be a particular job title, working for a particular company or organization, not so much. In general I plan to work till I don't want to, some time after being retirement aged. I hope to continue to stay at the same place I am now, but you never know, I may get married and follow my husband, I may switch jobs due to some new interest or unforeseen thing, or health emergency may change those plans.
There is a lot I don't know. Thus, there is stuff I can't plan for. So I can only assume that all things will remain constant going in one direction, and I'll plan for that.

Everybody Dies

That will be my new children's book that will take off in Japan, in the tradition of great children's literature of Everybody Poops.
The book will have lots of illustration of people with XXs for eyes, and the text will go like this:
Shakespeare during his lifetime wrote several wonderful plays and sonnets, he died.
Abraham Lincoln was President of the United States and freed the slaves, he went to the theater and died.
Susan B. Anthony fought for women's rights and is on a dollar coin, she's dead.
Gandhi achieved independence for India with non-violence, and he died.
Albert Einstein was a brilliant scientist who gave us the Theory of Relativity and he died.
Mother Teresa was a nun who fed and cared for the poor, she died.
Mr. Thompson down the street was a kind man who liked puppies, he's dead too.
Which just goes to prove, everybody dies.

Different?

I'm asked if I feel any different now that I'm Catholic. Um, no. Except now I actually get up to accept the host, as opposed to keeping my butt firmly in the pew. Besides that it just feels like I just switched churches, something I've done before. And it is not like I've actually left the Church of the Really Really Blond People. I plan on still showing up there for one reason or another. I like the people, the music is good, the programming is excellent, why leave?
I've told a few people of the change. I ran into a fellow I knew from the CotRRBP on the Circulator. He mentioned how he no longer goes to the CotRRPB but instead now attends another Episcopal church up the street from CotRRBP. I then admitted that I now am Our Lady of Perpetual Suffering (I really need to make up a new name, Our Lady of Diversity? Immaculate Pew? The Church of the Holy Dashboard Charm?). I gave my cop out reason of being able to roll out of bed 15 minutes before Mass, as the charm of Our Lady. I pointed to the church and he mentioned how he knew of Fr. LEV.
I just thought of another charm of Our Lady, no dress code. Most of the time I do make an effort. But ya know there are times when you don't have time to change or anything to wear, or you're in the middle of something (and taking a break to go to Mass) and dirty jeans will have to do.

It's all about the Washingtons

US one dollar coin 2007 .
Originally uploaded by tenor_t

I'm thinking I could be more charitable, more giving, and enact my own monetary policy by giving away dollar coins to the homeless, beggars, crack-heads and con-men who show up at my door.
Here is the problem, the dollar coin is just not catching on. Just not. Susan B. Anthony was a flop. The Native American chick whose name I can't spell, her coin hasn't done jack. The presidential coins will probably fail too. But you know, I can help try to bring vitality to the dollar coin by putting it in the hands of people who will want to be rid of it.
However, I sense that I will spend too much time arguing that the coins are actual legal tender.

The problem with being an adult

....is that you listen to lyrics. I just downloaded Iron Man by Ozzy Osbourne. Great Jimminey Cristmas!

What not to do on a hot day

Engage in marathon cooking and decide not to use the AC.
Yesterday I made the following:
Lamb Stew
Rice- 2.5 weeks worth of lunches
Scallion Soup
mini key lime pies
Orange Ice Cream
Chicken Pate
Salmon in soy sauce

I am trying, and failing, to use up the stuff in my freezers. I want to turn the saved ingredients into lunchable food. I have a lot of frozen fruit which I've just been throwing into glasses of ice tea or lemonade in lieu of ice cubes. I thought I had a recipe calling for bread crumbs, nope. I was hoping to rid myself of the bread crumbs and crossant crumbs. There might be a soup recipe for that.....
Also what not to do... stand for hours in flip flops. My feet and legs were dog tired last night after trying to make tons of food. I did not make as I didn't have the energy or will to make heart-attack lamb stew (I feel my heart seize up when I take my first bite), make it up as I go along ginger lamb curry, and lets see what happens when you mix coconut milk-freeze dried lemongrass and chicken breast.

A tale of two bags

This morning on the sidewalk
Two plastic bags huddled together
The little black bag tried comforting the big white bag
But it was not to be comforted.
Distressed, the black bag floated away
leaving the white bag, with it's crumpled smiley face
in a grimace.

Mom not fired, yay

Well I'm happy. My mom did not lose her job. Totally not related to the economy, but more related to petty co-workers and the conditions of her job. Mommie works for a nursing home and when she first mentioned something was wrong she thought it was because of an incident. She was trying to take care of a 'crazy man' who had undone his restraints and when she turned her back he lunged after her. She ran and held the door shut. Fine, except there were a few other patients in the room with the 'crazy man'. Not so good. But she found out she was placed on probation because someone had accused her of abuse. Silly.
Worse mom did was yell at a patient. Yes, she'll desert you and leave you to fend for yourself, but she'd never lay a hand on you. Well an investigation was made and mommy was cleared.
I'm happy she still has a job, as it keeps her out of trouble.

Closer to freedom

I came close to canceling my one credit card.
I honestly and truly want to cut it up and close the account I've had since undergrad. I've had this stupid credit card for over 15 years and like the Highlander it is the only one.
I have debit cards and I tend to use those exclusively. I can even get points with them. A few more signed purchases and maybe I can get a $25 gift card.
Anyway, I called up the credit card company, and asked to have the credit limited lowered to a couple of thou, down from $14,000. I don't need a $14K credit limit. I don't want to owe that much. Sudhir (not his name) somewhere at a call center in India warned me that I couldn't get cash advances now. Good. I rarely used the cash advance thing anyway. Then he tried to get me to transfer my balances... what balances?
I'm one summer roommate away from fully funding an emergency fund and being able to comfortably call up the credit card company and telling Sudhir or Shanti to cancel my card forever, freeing me from one more account to keep track of.

Dried peas are a NO

I tried them and I hate them.
I was hoping to be able to have something shelf stable and wean myself off frozen peas and freeing up freezer space. Nope.
Black beans, I'm fine with. Navy beans, in a soup are good. Peas on their own, crap. Total and complete crap. Patoohey!

Forgiveness and History

History is dangerous. For lying in the past are unresolved grudges, slights, injustices, actions judged by today's standards as wrong and errors. These are not safely tucked away in the past, that once a day has passed all the bad and evil is locked in time and unable to harm the present. Nope. It gets resurrected like a zombie, and it's coming to get you.
I was thinking of the grudges and the idea that group A 'owes' group B something because the first group stole, hoodwinked, or wronged the second. And an apology or replacement in kind just wont cut it because went you add interest, subtract previous attempts at getting even, and factor in lost opportunities it never settles it. The only thing that settles the debt is forgiveness. Well that or wiping out one group.

Well got that over with

Yesterday I finally did what I didn't bother doing 18 years ago in Gainesville, FL at St. Augustines.
Today, I am enjoying a traditional Easter Sunday. I'm staying home. My aunt pestered me on why I stay home, what reasoning was behind it. Not a good one, I admitted, but I wasn't going to tell her what it was. But it is now a tradition of mine, something I've been doing for about 15 years (with a few exceptions), I see no reason to break tradition.

Why I need to clean the bathroom

Feminism is useless against the dust bunnies under my clawfoot tub.
Despite having two graduate degrees, a good job that uses those degrees and not being tied to a man, I have to lower myself to my knees to engage in the drudgery of cleaning the damned bathroom.... because no one else will.
I could pay a woman, and it is usually a woman, maybe two from the maid service, to do all the cleaning. However, maid service is about $80-$125 a week. According to friends, almost always couples, maids like to come once a week, if forced to be bi-monthly, they will charge you more. Also according to friends, they don't always clean everything. So if I want it done right and done cheap/free, I have to clean it.
Somewhere a mother is wrongly discouraging her daughter any of the home arts. This is a mistake. She should be teaching her children, regardless of gender, how to clean the oven, and correctly sorting the laundry. Because regardless how educated you become, your place needs cleaning and your food needs cooking, and the school doesn't issue domestic staff with those degrees.
When I was younger I didn't give much thought to the housecleaning. I had roommates, we shared the duties and did half assed jobs at cleaning whatever room we were assigned to. As I get older, and as most of my friends have either gotten a maid, assigned one spouse/partner to housekeeping, or decided that cleaning is overrated/ unnecessary/ pointless, I care about the dust bunnies. I see the dust bunnies messing up my nice floors and the renovation work.
Damned bunnies.

iTunes world

Okay I started this post to complain that iTunes didn't have the bad Euro-pop song I wanted to explain why my last 6 purchases have been nothing but non-English songs. But I did a quick check and low and behold there it was, Toy Box's The Sailor Song.
So let's look at my last 10 purchases.

10. History by Matthew West. This was recommended by iTunes with the purchase of the sacred harp song Christian Soldier, which I really like, and What a Friend We Have In Jesus, which I don't like so much.

9. Je veux te vior by Yelle. I this was recommended by iTunes when I purchased the English version of 8 & 7. It is a fun high energy French-pop-dance song.

8. I'm a Gummy Bear. I bought this in the Orlando Airport when I was curious about what was tops on the iTune dance chart.

7. Ich bin dein Gummibar (Marschmellow mix). Same song, remixed and in German.

6. Maahi Ve (Soundtrack). This came after watching the Bollywood film Kal Ho Naa Ho (Tomorrow may never come). It is from the high energy wedding dance scene where the guys rock the sandals in Hindi.

5. Mambo Italiano by Mauro Ottolini. Was in an italian music mood. I got a lot of French songs. why not. And I wanted a version not done by Dean Martin or Rosemary Clooney.

4. Bella Bella Signorina by Patrizio Buanne. see above.

3. Tu Vuo Fa' l'americano. I have 2 English versions of this, why not.

2. The Sailor Song (Extended version) by Toy Box. Bad, bad, morally questionable bubble euro-pop.

1. Caramelldansen by Caramell. The speeded up version of a dance song. More bad brain rotting Euro-pop. I can't tell if it is in German or English.

I think the best thing I can do for the people around me is listen to music with my headphones, because no one should have to listen to my iPhone go from traditional Christian to Euro-pop to modernist classical (Peter Glass) to sappy 80s power ballads and the like.