It is very hard for me to see a movie, in the theaters, because they lead me to sin.
What sin?
I violate the commandment, thou shalt not kill, because I have thoughts of wanting my fellow moviegoers dead.
Before you go calling the local authorities, I need to say I do not wish for a repeat of horrible tragedies carried out by mentally disturbed men in theaters. No. I don't want that. I'm not going to kill anybody.
My sinful self just wants the person who decided that this movie wasn't as interesting as their cell phone to die. Such violent passion boils in my blood when, after I have paid what $11 or so bucks for myself, plus the ticket for my husband and maybe, just maybe a overpriced popcorn and bottled water, over $40 in total, some *&^$! ruins the experience by whipping out their cell phone and checking Facebook or their texts or (yes this has happened) talking on their cell phone during the movie.
I am reminded what I dislike about my fellow humans and cease to love them.
This happens so often that there are very few movies I will see in the theater. Opening week of a superhero movie yes. Art-house film maybe.
Recently we discovered ticket prices do not seem to matter. We went to the theatre, yes, with an 'tre', live actors and dancers, it was a musical, and the cell phone addiction was a problem there too. The young lady who sat next to us, apparently mistook this Broadway Theatre for her living room. She insisted on sitting with her shoeless feet on her seat or draped over the empty seat in front of her. Okay, whatever, youth. But then, through-out the first act she kept checking her cell phone and messaging. Even with low light it was annoying. On top of her other annoying antics. I should say we paid over $120 each for our tickets, the cheapest seats go for about $89.
Netflix and Amazon Prime are my sources of movie entertainment, because in my own home, we'll stop the movie if you need to talk on the cell phone. Or use the bathroom. The popcorn is cheap and the seats are comfy. The water is even cheaper. I love the people, okay person, I am with and his annoying habits don't make me want him dead.
Showing posts with label movies/tv. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movies/tv. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Friday, June 13, 2014
Watch what you watch
We used to watch TMZ for the entertainment value.
We don't have cable and we hardly watch network broadcast television so we miss out on the reality shows and latest anything, so TMZ was a way to hear about people we don't know nor care about. But we stopped, mainly because the show was too raunchy and I don't need anything from the show stuck in my head.
That is a problem I'm noticing. Maybe it is a sign of getting older because I don't remember scenes or outlooks from television getting playback in my head, when I didn't want it, when I was younger. Other stuff, like things I read would occasionally pop up in my younger days, but not often since I was in grad school and hardly read anything for fun. Now, and maybe at least since I became over 35, I noticed these things that I consume resurface, like a dead body in the river, when I least expect or desire them.
I can't watch Law & Order:SVU anymore. One reason, compared to all the other L&Os, this one was the worse. The others were more about the crime, not about the cops. Another reason, I prefer dead body police procedurals, not raped/abused person of any age procedural. A friend told me that since becoming a mom she couldn't watch L&O:SVU at all, it plants fear into your mind. I was bored and did watch one SVU episode and regretted it several days after when a script, a line of thought, kept replaying itself in my head. The problem was this script was distracting and countered all the other scripts that loop in my head that keep me happy and sane and focused on what matters. I don't need Hollywood's or NYC's writers to tell me of crime. When I first moved into my neighborhood I would hear gunshots often and I had 24 hour drug dealers on the corner. I figured out my own way of being safe in the city and TV warps it.
Though not television I had to take a certain song out of my workout playlist because it too was messing with my head. It must be an age thing. Things I used to listen to gleefully when I was a teen, semi-shocks me when I can't help but to get the double meaning. Back in the 80s it went over my head. But back to my pulled workout song, it was the clean version but I can fill in the blanks. The problem was I was constantly filling in the blanks in my head and I didn't like where my thought patterns were going.
We don't have cable and we hardly watch network broadcast television so we miss out on the reality shows and latest anything, so TMZ was a way to hear about people we don't know nor care about. But we stopped, mainly because the show was too raunchy and I don't need anything from the show stuck in my head.
That is a problem I'm noticing. Maybe it is a sign of getting older because I don't remember scenes or outlooks from television getting playback in my head, when I didn't want it, when I was younger. Other stuff, like things I read would occasionally pop up in my younger days, but not often since I was in grad school and hardly read anything for fun. Now, and maybe at least since I became over 35, I noticed these things that I consume resurface, like a dead body in the river, when I least expect or desire them.
I can't watch Law & Order:SVU anymore. One reason, compared to all the other L&Os, this one was the worse. The others were more about the crime, not about the cops. Another reason, I prefer dead body police procedurals, not raped/abused person of any age procedural. A friend told me that since becoming a mom she couldn't watch L&O:SVU at all, it plants fear into your mind. I was bored and did watch one SVU episode and regretted it several days after when a script, a line of thought, kept replaying itself in my head. The problem was this script was distracting and countered all the other scripts that loop in my head that keep me happy and sane and focused on what matters. I don't need Hollywood's or NYC's writers to tell me of crime. When I first moved into my neighborhood I would hear gunshots often and I had 24 hour drug dealers on the corner. I figured out my own way of being safe in the city and TV warps it.
Though not television I had to take a certain song out of my workout playlist because it too was messing with my head. It must be an age thing. Things I used to listen to gleefully when I was a teen, semi-shocks me when I can't help but to get the double meaning. Back in the 80s it went over my head. But back to my pulled workout song, it was the clean version but I can fill in the blanks. The problem was I was constantly filling in the blanks in my head and I didn't like where my thought patterns were going.
Friday, July 05, 2013
We are sinful creatures
There is a trope, a theme in sci-fi storytelling that reminds me that we are sinful creatures, as soon as we are born, sinful. Of course the writers, more than likely agnostics or atheists, wouldn't use the word 'sinful'.
No.
They will write that we are violent and destructive, by are nature we are no good. Usually it is some "higher" being that space travellers have encountered, like Q in Star Trek: TNG, who decides to judge humans and point out our collective wrong. Most of the time the captain, or leader or whomever answers the charges does not deny that yes, we are murdering, destructive, messy creatures, but hey we have a lot of redeeming qualities as well, which is why the higher being(s) should not blow up Earth or do something that would wipe out the human race.
Sound similar to something else?
We'd been watching a lot of BBC sci-fi on the 4th of July.
No.
They will write that we are violent and destructive, by are nature we are no good. Usually it is some "higher" being that space travellers have encountered, like Q in Star Trek: TNG, who decides to judge humans and point out our collective wrong. Most of the time the captain, or leader or whomever answers the charges does not deny that yes, we are murdering, destructive, messy creatures, but hey we have a lot of redeeming qualities as well, which is why the higher being(s) should not blow up Earth or do something that would wipe out the human race.
Sound similar to something else?
We'd been watching a lot of BBC sci-fi on the 4th of July.
Monday, November 07, 2011
MST3K for the Christian Movies
This weekend the Help and I snuggled up with some Netflix movies that have been sitting on top of the DVD player, one being a film, No Greater Love. It's one of those Christian faith-based, faith inspired movies with seriously uneven acting and poor character development. This is one of three point five Christian films we've seen in the past year. Two I had seen before but wanted to share with my new husband. Being home, I and sometimes we, like to loudly add our own commentary to the films, regardless if they are big budget Hollywood, mid budget Bollywood, or I'm not sure what the heck your budget was movies. Christian movies, that strongly wish to spread the gospel about our lord and savior, get the same critical treatment.
What really bugged us for No Greater Love were the male Christians. When the main character, an agnostic man trying to get his long lost now-Christian wife back, was arguing with the pastor of her church, the pastor kept smiling. It just seemed weird. The old friend of the main character, who attended the same church as the long lost wife and the pastor, had this goofy look on his face most of the time. Except for one scene where the guy bothered acting. We know the look was to show how happy and wonderful it was having Christ in his life, but really, REALLY? Don't get me started on the character development of the women in these films. One word, doormat.
The exception to the woman as doormat was in Faith Like Potatoes. Slightly uneven acting there too, but let's say the non-actor types weren't pushed 10 miles before their abilities as the American Christian films were. Faith Like Potatoes, is based on a real life South African white farmer, who comes to Christ after failing on one farm and starting up another. His wife expresses her fears and doubts and just doesn't let things just happen to her.
Third film starred Kirk Cameron, in Fireproof. Acting talent ranged from good (Cameron), to regional theater not bad, to answered the announcement at church for parts in the production. I'm sorry poor acting bugs me and is distracting. The story is good and the development for Mr. Cameron's character was good and showed beliveable transformation, but everyone else, a little flat.
The .5 movie in the bunch we watched this year was a short film, produced by some church out west about the story of Hosea. I can't remember the name of the film but it stars a woman, who used to be in the adult film industry before she found Christ. Loosely based on the Bible about the prophet Hosea, it is about a preacher who marries a former stripper. Seriously uneven acting, but unlike the other films the main actor isn't the best actor.
Maybe it is a rule somewhere that religious movie productions must have uneven acting. I once came across a Hindi movie/ tv show (in hindi without English subtitles) and immediately could tell it was a religious themed production as it seemed they grabbed Sanj from the back of the temple to play the monkey god.
The best Christian movies that I can think of off the top of my head is the Lord of the Ring trilogy, followed by the eight film series of Harry Potter.
What really bugged us for No Greater Love were the male Christians. When the main character, an agnostic man trying to get his long lost now-Christian wife back, was arguing with the pastor of her church, the pastor kept smiling. It just seemed weird. The old friend of the main character, who attended the same church as the long lost wife and the pastor, had this goofy look on his face most of the time. Except for one scene where the guy bothered acting. We know the look was to show how happy and wonderful it was having Christ in his life, but really, REALLY? Don't get me started on the character development of the women in these films. One word, doormat.
The exception to the woman as doormat was in Faith Like Potatoes. Slightly uneven acting there too, but let's say the non-actor types weren't pushed 10 miles before their abilities as the American Christian films were. Faith Like Potatoes, is based on a real life South African white farmer, who comes to Christ after failing on one farm and starting up another. His wife expresses her fears and doubts and just doesn't let things just happen to her.
Third film starred Kirk Cameron, in Fireproof. Acting talent ranged from good (Cameron), to regional theater not bad, to answered the announcement at church for parts in the production. I'm sorry poor acting bugs me and is distracting. The story is good and the development for Mr. Cameron's character was good and showed beliveable transformation, but everyone else, a little flat.
The .5 movie in the bunch we watched this year was a short film, produced by some church out west about the story of Hosea. I can't remember the name of the film but it stars a woman, who used to be in the adult film industry before she found Christ. Loosely based on the Bible about the prophet Hosea, it is about a preacher who marries a former stripper. Seriously uneven acting, but unlike the other films the main actor isn't the best actor.
Maybe it is a rule somewhere that religious movie productions must have uneven acting. I once came across a Hindi movie/ tv show (in hindi without English subtitles) and immediately could tell it was a religious themed production as it seemed they grabbed Sanj from the back of the temple to play the monkey god.
The best Christian movies that I can think of off the top of my head is the Lord of the Ring trilogy, followed by the eight film series of Harry Potter.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
TV-Outlaw
It sucked.
The first 20 minutes I decided the show was crap and insulting. Insulting because the main character played by Jimmy Smitts is a Latino US Supreme Court Justice who quits and turns from supporting conservative issues and to liberal causes. As a conservative person of color that was just too insulting as the show's writers made it that he was only supporting conservative causes because a big bad conservative white guy was bullying him. It would have been fine if he was a liberal justice who decides he'd be doing more good as a lawyer, which would have been fine.
But it seemed to be that the writers went out of their way to say that minority conservatives aren't genuine. If we’d only be our true selves then we’d hop on the left’s side. If it weren’t for pressure from the white conservatives, if we were free we’d see the errors of our ways. Bull! And that was insulting and offensive. So, I won’t be watching this drivel. Of course, there were other things I thought were stupid too. His staff, too few and too stupid.
Well at least it appears they shot it in DC.
The first 20 minutes I decided the show was crap and insulting. Insulting because the main character played by Jimmy Smitts is a Latino US Supreme Court Justice who quits and turns from supporting conservative issues and to liberal causes. As a conservative person of color that was just too insulting as the show's writers made it that he was only supporting conservative causes because a big bad conservative white guy was bullying him. It would have been fine if he was a liberal justice who decides he'd be doing more good as a lawyer, which would have been fine.
But it seemed to be that the writers went out of their way to say that minority conservatives aren't genuine. If we’d only be our true selves then we’d hop on the left’s side. If it weren’t for pressure from the white conservatives, if we were free we’d see the errors of our ways. Bull! And that was insulting and offensive. So, I won’t be watching this drivel. Of course, there were other things I thought were stupid too. His staff, too few and too stupid.
Well at least it appears they shot it in DC.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
10 Rules for Dealing with the Police
WARNING- There is language that migth offend you. Yes, you. Yes, YOU. The one reading this. So no lip about how offended you were.
I'm still conflicted over this but it is very informative and the Flex Your Rights people are very right when they say if you don't flex your rights you're apt to loose them.
Movie Levels
See it in the Theater worthy- These are things where someone needs to win an Academy Award for Sound or CGI effects. I will pay over $8 bucks for this.
Netflix Worthy- Everything I didn't have to see in a theater. Stuff with a plot.
TV Movie worthy- Not even worth renting, but it's on TV, I'm home and got the time to see it. Stupid inane chick flix fit the bill.
Netflix on demand worthy- Not worth waiting for in the mail and grainy quality is acceptable. I don't care about the directors comments nor do I want to bother with extra features.
Stuck on an airplane worthy- I'm trapped. It's 2-8 hours before we land. I can try to go to sleep or put on my headphones and watch Elf.
Netflix Worthy- Everything I didn't have to see in a theater. Stuff with a plot.
TV Movie worthy- Not even worth renting, but it's on TV, I'm home and got the time to see it. Stupid inane chick flix fit the bill.
Netflix on demand worthy- Not worth waiting for in the mail and grainy quality is acceptable. I don't care about the directors comments nor do I want to bother with extra features.
Stuck on an airplane worthy- I'm trapped. It's 2-8 hours before we land. I can try to go to sleep or put on my headphones and watch Elf.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Dadetown
I'm posting this a reminder. I am hoping to one day see this indie film again but I can't find any hide nor hair of this 1995 mockumentary that I saw once with my ex-bf Jochen at a DC Indie Film Fest. Everyso often I look for this film but forget the name. Dadetown, dadetown, Dadetown! Takes place in upstate New York, about a dying factory town and the new yuppie business that relocates there.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Google made me cry
The ad is here, and like radio you develop the characters in your head, and the few sounds, the French gal's "hello" (or "halo?") and the cry of a baby just triggered something.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Avatar is no District 9
I like aliens.
For the most part I thought Avatar was okay. I knew the storyline was crap, stealing from 'Dances with Wolves' meets 'Pocohantas' meets a viewfinder. Storyline-wise District 9 kicked butt. It was original, it had mystery and was unpredictable. Oh and it was deep. I loved the comparisons between the Nigerian witchdoctor and the white scientists, neither knew what the F they were doing to the hero.
Unlike Avatar, the white guy becoming the alient wasn't the saviour. He was help. Chris, the alien trying to collect enough fuel to get back to the ship and get the heck out of there was the real hero. The South Afrikkaner white guy is just in the way, gets heroic and makes a nuisance of himself. No alien princesses to fall in love with. No superior white guy who will lead the Indians, opps I mean aliens to freedom.
Is Avatar racist? Racist in the way well meaning white folks who prop up a welfare state that undermines the Black family is racist. It is a different sort of racism that supports a white superiority, where the brown people are too stupid or childlike or whatever, and need the well meaning white leader to save them, typically from other white people.
For the most part I thought Avatar was okay. I knew the storyline was crap, stealing from 'Dances with Wolves' meets 'Pocohantas' meets a viewfinder. Storyline-wise District 9 kicked butt. It was original, it had mystery and was unpredictable. Oh and it was deep. I loved the comparisons between the Nigerian witchdoctor and the white scientists, neither knew what the F they were doing to the hero.
Unlike Avatar, the white guy becoming the alient wasn't the saviour. He was help. Chris, the alien trying to collect enough fuel to get back to the ship and get the heck out of there was the real hero. The South Afrikkaner white guy is just in the way, gets heroic and makes a nuisance of himself. No alien princesses to fall in love with. No superior white guy who will lead the Indians, opps I mean aliens to freedom.
Is Avatar racist? Racist in the way well meaning white folks who prop up a welfare state that undermines the Black family is racist. It is a different sort of racism that supports a white superiority, where the brown people are too stupid or childlike or whatever, and need the well meaning white leader to save them, typically from other white people.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
That's some Gaydar
On the season premier of Mad Men, Sal and our favorite man-whore, Don Draper, check into a Baltimore hotel. The man-whore, beds some flightly stewardess, not even trying to be good or faithful to his wife, as expected. Don is very disappointing, but interesting. Sal on the other hand goes to his room alone, complains to the desk that his rooms AC is on the fritz and has a bell hop come and fool around with the dial.
I was disappointed in Sal in Season 2, when it showed he got married to a woman. Why he had to drag some poor woman into is deep closet? Deep, deep closet. He could have stayed single like the Belle Joli rep who hit on him, but alas, no. Misery loves company.
Anyway, the bell hop 'fixes' the AC and we see a close up of Sal's money clip as he flips through 10s and 5s and 1s. My thoughts on this scene were A- RUN SAL YOU GONNA GET ROBBED, it's Baltimore! B- Wow that's some old looking money. C- Ah come on, he fixed your AC give the man a 5.... how much is a 5 in 1964 dollars? And then the bell hop gets into his personal space, and plants a big ole kiss on him. Dang, that is some gaydar.
I'm not going to describe what happens afterwards but let's say it gets far enough that Sal has to adjust his clothes when the fire alarm goes off and he's caught by Don, experienced man-whore, as he and the stewardess go down the fire escape.
Later on the flight back poor Sal looks like "OMG, OMG, you're gonna out me and ruin my life, I'm going to have to live in a box and never wear french cuffs again! Waaah" when Don leans over to talk about the London Fog account. The key phrase of that conversation is "limit your exposure." Advice from one man-whore to I guess another.
Is there anythign morally redeeming about the show? So far not really. But I don't watch it for the morals. I watch it for the deep rich flawed and broken characters, the bright shiny and modern 60s of Dick Van Dyke, all the drinking adn interesting paranting styles. 2 bonus points if your 8 year old can mix drinks.
I was disappointed in Sal in Season 2, when it showed he got married to a woman. Why he had to drag some poor woman into is deep closet? Deep, deep closet. He could have stayed single like the Belle Joli rep who hit on him, but alas, no. Misery loves company.
Anyway, the bell hop 'fixes' the AC and we see a close up of Sal's money clip as he flips through 10s and 5s and 1s. My thoughts on this scene were A- RUN SAL YOU GONNA GET ROBBED, it's Baltimore! B- Wow that's some old looking money. C- Ah come on, he fixed your AC give the man a 5.... how much is a 5 in 1964 dollars? And then the bell hop gets into his personal space, and plants a big ole kiss on him. Dang, that is some gaydar.
I'm not going to describe what happens afterwards but let's say it gets far enough that Sal has to adjust his clothes when the fire alarm goes off and he's caught by Don, experienced man-whore, as he and the stewardess go down the fire escape.
Later on the flight back poor Sal looks like "OMG, OMG, you're gonna out me and ruin my life, I'm going to have to live in a box and never wear french cuffs again! Waaah" when Don leans over to talk about the London Fog account. The key phrase of that conversation is "limit your exposure." Advice from one man-whore to I guess another.
Is there anythign morally redeeming about the show? So far not really. But I don't watch it for the morals. I watch it for the deep rich flawed and broken characters, the bright shiny and modern 60s of Dick Van Dyke, all the drinking adn interesting paranting styles. 2 bonus points if your 8 year old can mix drinks.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
I *heart* dystopias
Logan's Run, Soylent Green, Mad Max, Gattaca, 1984, Equilibrium, Idiocracy, Children of Men, Fahrenheit 451 (though that one reminded me too much of Dr. Who), The Island, and Wall-E.
They do not make me fearful of the future because I find part of the philosophy behind them flawed. For one I believe in rebellion. As long as there are teenagers on the planet there will be rebellion, and thus someone undermining the system. Secondly, there is a streak of contrarianism that flows though many of my associates and friends, which makes me believe that whatever grand scheme a government, super-corporation, Baptist theocrats that manage not to break up after the first year (Handmaid's Tale), or other large power that takes over the whole world, will be challenged, undermined, or ignored. Brave New World had the Savages, Fahrenheit 451 had the folks out in the woods reciting books to no one in particular, Gattaca had the love children (people who were not genetically designed), and so on.
The environmental hellfire and brimstone tv or cinematic bits showing a hellish Waterworld (yes, I watched it), or NYC of Soylent Green have their own problems. Humans are wonderfully adaptable. Yeah, a whole bunch of us will die off with any great change. But there are Eskimos (can't spell the proper native name) in the Hell I call Alaska and northern Canada, Aboriginals in the Outback, Arabs in the desert, Isrealites in the desert, and other people in places that are too cold, too hot, and just plain crappy.
They do not make me fearful of the future because I find part of the philosophy behind them flawed. For one I believe in rebellion. As long as there are teenagers on the planet there will be rebellion, and thus someone undermining the system. Secondly, there is a streak of contrarianism that flows though many of my associates and friends, which makes me believe that whatever grand scheme a government, super-corporation, Baptist theocrats that manage not to break up after the first year (Handmaid's Tale), or other large power that takes over the whole world, will be challenged, undermined, or ignored. Brave New World had the Savages, Fahrenheit 451 had the folks out in the woods reciting books to no one in particular, Gattaca had the love children (people who were not genetically designed), and so on.
The environmental hellfire and brimstone tv or cinematic bits showing a hellish Waterworld (yes, I watched it), or NYC of Soylent Green have their own problems. Humans are wonderfully adaptable. Yeah, a whole bunch of us will die off with any great change. But there are Eskimos (can't spell the proper native name) in the Hell I call Alaska and northern Canada, Aboriginals in the Outback, Arabs in the desert, Isrealites in the desert, and other people in places that are too cold, too hot, and just plain crappy.
Friday, June 06, 2008
BSG and why
I am loving Battlestar Gallactica. I would love it even more if the Sci-fi channel would post the episodes on-line a little sooner. But tis my fault for not having cable.
The ex-nun Barbra Nicolosi, with her blog, got me curious about BSG, and I see some of the depth of the show. There are some deep questions like if should we exist (do we have the right), and how we treat others defining who we are. Really what is the difference between a regular old human and a skin-job? Besides resurrections and goo-baths. And if we find that humans and skin jobs are pretty much the same with very little distinquishing them from the rest of the human race, what does that say about humans who have treated skin-jobs inhumanely?
The ex-nun Barbra Nicolosi, with her blog, got me curious about BSG, and I see some of the depth of the show. There are some deep questions like if should we exist (do we have the right), and how we treat others defining who we are. Really what is the difference between a regular old human and a skin-job? Besides resurrections and goo-baths. And if we find that humans and skin jobs are pretty much the same with very little distinquishing them from the rest of the human race, what does that say about humans who have treated skin-jobs inhumanely?
Monday, May 19, 2008
Duh Vinci Code
I'm all out of BSG, so I'm back to watching regular movies with the odd British TV DVD thrown in. One of the films on the Netflix que was DaVinci Code. I watched it, and well... I'll review two movies.
Let's pretend I don't know a thing about Christianity, never heard of it. With that it had good cinematography, lovely locations, and action. However the heavy dependence on puzzles started to annoy me. Also I'm not a big fan of conspiracy theories. Working at the JFK Prez library led me to believe that there are too many kooks out there with conspiracy theories. Unfortunately, suspense of belief only goes so far with me. What only 1 guard in the Louvre? Offices in the museum part? Of the museums where I've worked the admin stays as far away from the tourists as possible. No security cameras around to catch the killer? Seriously, Law & Order: Paris would have had the murder of the curator wrapped up in 20 minutes.
Second review, as a Christian. Good lord, where do I start? When you bother to remember the Eastern Orthodox Church, the history given is garbage. Then again most of the history is garbage. Second, Mary M. goes to France/Gaul. Why? Why not settle in Rome? Or Egypt? Why the F Gaul? Third, JC, who was he because if not part of the trinity, who cares? Scenario A: JC not son of G-d, but a prophet with mystical powers. Wouldn't that be Islam's take on JC? So it wouldn't matter if he had kids. Mo hammed had wives and kids, so same diff. Scenario B: JC, son of G-d, father of some French peoples. Irresponsible cad. Let us remember he did bother to take time out from suffering and dying (Can't remember where in NT this is):
JC: Hey, you there, apostle.
Apostle: Who me?
JC: Yes, you. Old boy (imagine this all with ox-bridge accents), I'm in a bit of a pickle. I'm going to be leaving, but I will return at some point, but in the meanwhile I'm going to need someone to look after my dear ole mum. Could you swing that for me?
Apostle: Um, sure.
JC: Mummy.
Holy Mother Mary: Yes, dear?
JC: That dear fellow over there is your new son. Apostle chap, this lovely woman is your new mum. Mummy, apostle, apostle, mummy. Now I'm going to get back to suffering for the world's sins while you two get acquainted.
So, if regular JC took care of his mother, why not his "wife". And if anyone's womb is all that and a bag of chips, it would be that of the holy mother.
Let's pretend I don't know a thing about Christianity, never heard of it. With that it had good cinematography, lovely locations, and action. However the heavy dependence on puzzles started to annoy me. Also I'm not a big fan of conspiracy theories. Working at the JFK Prez library led me to believe that there are too many kooks out there with conspiracy theories. Unfortunately, suspense of belief only goes so far with me. What only 1 guard in the Louvre? Offices in the museum part? Of the museums where I've worked the admin stays as far away from the tourists as possible. No security cameras around to catch the killer? Seriously, Law & Order: Paris would have had the murder of the curator wrapped up in 20 minutes.
Second review, as a Christian. Good lord, where do I start? When you bother to remember the Eastern Orthodox Church, the history given is garbage. Then again most of the history is garbage. Second, Mary M. goes to France/Gaul. Why? Why not settle in Rome? Or Egypt? Why the F Gaul? Third, JC, who was he because if not part of the trinity, who cares? Scenario A: JC not son of G-d, but a prophet with mystical powers. Wouldn't that be Islam's take on JC? So it wouldn't matter if he had kids. Mo hammed had wives and kids, so same diff. Scenario B: JC, son of G-d, father of some French peoples. Irresponsible cad. Let us remember he did bother to take time out from suffering and dying (Can't remember where in NT this is):
JC: Hey, you there, apostle.
Apostle: Who me?
JC: Yes, you. Old boy (imagine this all with ox-bridge accents), I'm in a bit of a pickle. I'm going to be leaving, but I will return at some point, but in the meanwhile I'm going to need someone to look after my dear ole mum. Could you swing that for me?
Apostle: Um, sure.
JC: Mummy.
Holy Mother Mary: Yes, dear?
JC: That dear fellow over there is your new son. Apostle chap, this lovely woman is your new mum. Mummy, apostle, apostle, mummy. Now I'm going to get back to suffering for the world's sins while you two get acquainted.
So, if regular JC took care of his mother, why not his "wife". And if anyone's womb is all that and a bag of chips, it would be that of the holy mother.
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