Apparently the missal for Anglican Use is out of print... And yes I could get the PDF from the Anglican Use website, but I like the little book, so BCP it is.
Ever since I encountered compline at the convent in Catonsville, MD I fell in love with it. It is an excellent way to end the day. However on my own I have the darnest time trying to figure it out. But I muddle through. It has given me comfort.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Anti-government
Disclosure- I work for the government, & I'm here to help.
One of the reasons why big corporate agriculture can determine what you eat is that they are in cahoots with the government that makes laws and regulates that best suits agribusiness. The legal word "organic" has been co-opted and taken away from the hippies who supported the movement and now Cargill owns it and the farmer at the farmer's market can't claim it because it requires approval by the Ag bureaucrat (more trouble than it's worth) who doesn't have the spirit of organic in his/her heart.
Government is a lot of things. Good things, bad things, mundane things, and things we don't even think about. Your tax dollars feed single mothers, undermine democratically elected governments, save stranded boaters, blow up innocent civilians, kill inmates, seizes property, floods the market with cheap corn with subsidies, raids banks, encourages home ownership, builds roads, builds prisons, props up 3rd world strongmen, keeps up National Parks, and a whole slew of stuff.
One of the reasons why big corporate agriculture can determine what you eat is that they are in cahoots with the government that makes laws and regulates that best suits agribusiness. The legal word "organic" has been co-opted and taken away from the hippies who supported the movement and now Cargill owns it and the farmer at the farmer's market can't claim it because it requires approval by the Ag bureaucrat (more trouble than it's worth) who doesn't have the spirit of organic in his/her heart.
Government is a lot of things. Good things, bad things, mundane things, and things we don't even think about. Your tax dollars feed single mothers, undermine democratically elected governments, save stranded boaters, blow up innocent civilians, kill inmates, seizes property, floods the market with cheap corn with subsidies, raids banks, encourages home ownership, builds roads, builds prisons, props up 3rd world strongmen, keeps up National Parks, and a whole slew of stuff.
Pasta Salad
Despite being very sore towards someone right now, I will say that previously I hoped marriage would be like pasta salad. Currently I'm trying to put marriage out of my mind. Let me explain. You know how people focus on the thought that in marriage you are stuck with the same person day after day and it is like eating the same thing day after day. Well sometimes when I discover a dish I love, I try to eat it day after day after day. Pasta salad is such a dish.
Here are the ingredients:
I don't give measurements because I've been making this since forever. I get the water boiling and throw the rotini in for 6-9 minutes, depending on the package or experience. While that's going I squeeze the lemon, put the garlic in the crusher and deposit in the juice. Experience has taught me that the garlic is less likely to taste funny if I have it sit in the citrus. Then I take some vinegar and shake about a few drops into it.Then add some parsley, and mustard. I stir it up then add oil. The original recipe said about 1/2 of the volume should be oil. I make it less so. Just enough to get a good dressing. I try to emulsify. Then I add a boat load of cheese.
About 2 minutes before the pasta is done, I throw in frozen early peas. When the timer goes off, I drain the pasta and the peas and add them to the cheesy dressing. I love this dish. And each time I make it, it is different. The quality of the ingredients can differ, the measurements differ, my mood, what I'm drinking to accent the flavors differ, the heat of the pasta when it hits the cheese, etc. A bunch of differing factors makes the same dish different. Sometimes I use fresh lemon juice, or farmer's market peas, or fresh parsley from the garden and lots of it. All I know are the last 10 spirals in my bowl of the dish are the most precious things in the world and I try to savor them slowly.
Here are the ingredients:
Rotini (originally called for tortellini)
Peas
Olive Oil
Garlic
Parsley
Dijon mustard
lemon juice
Red wine vinigar
Salt
Grated Parmesan cheese
I don't give measurements because I've been making this since forever. I get the water boiling and throw the rotini in for 6-9 minutes, depending on the package or experience. While that's going I squeeze the lemon, put the garlic in the crusher and deposit in the juice. Experience has taught me that the garlic is less likely to taste funny if I have it sit in the citrus. Then I take some vinegar and shake about a few drops into it.Then add some parsley, and mustard. I stir it up then add oil. The original recipe said about 1/2 of the volume should be oil. I make it less so. Just enough to get a good dressing. I try to emulsify. Then I add a boat load of cheese.
About 2 minutes before the pasta is done, I throw in frozen early peas. When the timer goes off, I drain the pasta and the peas and add them to the cheesy dressing. I love this dish. And each time I make it, it is different. The quality of the ingredients can differ, the measurements differ, my mood, what I'm drinking to accent the flavors differ, the heat of the pasta when it hits the cheese, etc. A bunch of differing factors makes the same dish different. Sometimes I use fresh lemon juice, or farmer's market peas, or fresh parsley from the garden and lots of it. All I know are the last 10 spirals in my bowl of the dish are the most precious things in the world and I try to savor them slowly.
Yea South Carolina.
I was very eager last night to hear what the results of the South Carolina race because of two Republican candidates Nikki Haley and Tim Scott, but mainly Nikki Haley. Why? Because they are both people of color, tea party supported (okay TP split over Scott)and Southern. I’m excited about them because their existence denounces the outdated narrative about the South and the Republican party. I’ll be the first to tell you that the Republican party is completely tone deaf when it comes to racial sensitivities. Totally tone deaf and clueless and at points racially insensitive. Being all kumbaya about race was never and still isn’t the GOP’s shtick. And despite this there is a place for people of color and women in leadership and the ranks of the party.
Now myself being a registered Republican in the District of Columbia my vote most of the time counts for jack. This city is over 80% Democrat. The Democratic primary usually chooses the mayor and most of the city council. Because the city is so overwhelmingly Democratic I don’t believe we’ll ever get voting rights. In a GOP lead administration there is no chance of voting rights because the city is overwhelmingly of the opposing party and would only produce (D-DC) congressmembers. In Democratic administration at some point it dawns on them that they really don’t need to try that hard because succeed or fail DC is their bitch, their political booty call.
But back to SC. Yea! Especially for Nikki Haley, the female Methodist Bobby Jindal provided she makes it to win the race in November. Imagine another Southern state electing an Indian-American. I’m glad she survived the stupid whisper campaigns regarding her martial fidelity and her faith. I mean come on! If she has family who are Sikhs at some point she’s gonna wind up in a Sikh temple. I mean I’m no longer Baptist but there is a fair chance I’ll be sitting in a pew at a Baptist Church in the next year or two because of my aunts, my parents, my nieces, or any other random relative for a funeral or wedding or other church sponsored event. So the idea that she might not be a ‘real’ Christian because she has been to a Sikh temple since her conversion is stupid.
Now myself being a registered Republican in the District of Columbia my vote most of the time counts for jack. This city is over 80% Democrat. The Democratic primary usually chooses the mayor and most of the city council. Because the city is so overwhelmingly Democratic I don’t believe we’ll ever get voting rights. In a GOP lead administration there is no chance of voting rights because the city is overwhelmingly of the opposing party and would only produce (D-DC) congressmembers. In Democratic administration at some point it dawns on them that they really don’t need to try that hard because succeed or fail DC is their bitch, their political booty call.
But back to SC. Yea! Especially for Nikki Haley, the female Methodist Bobby Jindal provided she makes it to win the race in November. Imagine another Southern state electing an Indian-American. I’m glad she survived the stupid whisper campaigns regarding her martial fidelity and her faith. I mean come on! If she has family who are Sikhs at some point she’s gonna wind up in a Sikh temple. I mean I’m no longer Baptist but there is a fair chance I’ll be sitting in a pew at a Baptist Church in the next year or two because of my aunts, my parents, my nieces, or any other random relative for a funeral or wedding or other church sponsored event. So the idea that she might not be a ‘real’ Christian because she has been to a Sikh temple since her conversion is stupid.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Happy Father's Day
Mommy reminded me that I needed to call daddy today. So I figured they'd be up around 8. So I called and mom answered. She went to get daddy and returned telling me to call back in 5 minutes because he was still praying. Okay.
Things are so much easier since my parents got back together. They are living in sin, but they are back together. They divorced 10 years ago after a very rocky marriage and lately reconciled. They haven't yet remarried. It would be nice. Until then I remind them that they are living in sin.
When I say rocky, I mean daddy in his youth (20somthing to 40something) was an abusive husband, and for two daughters as less than stellar father. But he was there and somewhat interested in our upbringing, though he wasn't quick to show it. Looking back I am thankful that he was there, a statement that would bewilder my 16-17 year old self, when I was all for my parents divorcing. What I would tell my 16-17 year old self is it will work out in time, trust in G-d, forgive, and that mommy has lousy luck with men so sadly she's not going to do better. I wouldn't encourage a woman to stay with a physically abusive husband or partner for the sake of the kids, but she really has to be exceptionally careful and/or be willing to be celibate for a very long time for the sake of her kids. There are some real A*holes out there and some women keep repeating the same mistakes with new boyfriends. Just sayin'.
Anyway, back to daddy. I'm happy he's easier to locate now that mommy knows where he is. I'm happy that Jesus got a hold of him and changed his life. It would have been nice if the Savior did this while I was a kid, but the Lord's will be done, when he chooses.
The conversations are easier. We have something to talk about. The house, the grand kids (nieces), church, and the slim chance of him retiring are topics we can discuss. But daddy is not a phone person, so the call didn't last long, but way longer and it was less awkward than the time when they were separated.
Things are so much easier since my parents got back together. They are living in sin, but they are back together. They divorced 10 years ago after a very rocky marriage and lately reconciled. They haven't yet remarried. It would be nice. Until then I remind them that they are living in sin.
When I say rocky, I mean daddy in his youth (20somthing to 40something) was an abusive husband, and for two daughters as less than stellar father. But he was there and somewhat interested in our upbringing, though he wasn't quick to show it. Looking back I am thankful that he was there, a statement that would bewilder my 16-17 year old self, when I was all for my parents divorcing. What I would tell my 16-17 year old self is it will work out in time, trust in G-d, forgive, and that mommy has lousy luck with men so sadly she's not going to do better. I wouldn't encourage a woman to stay with a physically abusive husband or partner for the sake of the kids, but she really has to be exceptionally careful and/or be willing to be celibate for a very long time for the sake of her kids. There are some real A*holes out there and some women keep repeating the same mistakes with new boyfriends. Just sayin'.
Anyway, back to daddy. I'm happy he's easier to locate now that mommy knows where he is. I'm happy that Jesus got a hold of him and changed his life. It would have been nice if the Savior did this while I was a kid, but the Lord's will be done, when he chooses.
The conversations are easier. We have something to talk about. The house, the grand kids (nieces), church, and the slim chance of him retiring are topics we can discuss. But daddy is not a phone person, so the call didn't last long, but way longer and it was less awkward than the time when they were separated.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Special Chicken
Okay I finally defrosted and cooked most of the Maryland local, free range chicken that cost me $17 for the whole bird. I had set aside the breasts for chicken marsala. Then I went to the bodega to pick up some items for ice cream making when the owner mentioned he had some fresh chicken. Oh, fresh chicken! The last time I had bought chicken, the $17 deal, it was frozen. So When I was ready I had to deal with the whole bird. I figured with a fresh chicken I could cut up and cook the parts as needed. This bugger cost me over $20. So I got home. Figured I would cut it up into parts and freeze it.
I had butchered half of it when I bothered to take a look at the packaging. It was a Polyface chicken. The same Polyface Farm as featured in Michael Pollan’s Omnivore’s Dilemma. I was immediately struck with my own dilemma. Was I going to continue with my plan or was I going to see if fresh chicken from Polyface tasted as good as the hype not knowing if the freezing would make a difference. Since I had cut up half of it that was going into the freezer. The other half was going to be roasted.
I chose a recipe from the Gospel According to St. Martha, aka Martha Stewart Living. It was simple. Preheat oven to 425F. Take a chicken, put on foiled cookie sheet (foil not according to recipe but my desire for easy clean up). Brush with butter. Though I failed to read this and wound up pouring bits of melted butter on it. Salt and pepper. Take fresh thyme, stick under breasts and strew on sheet. Smash some garlic, place on sheet. Take day old baguette, in my case bread that has been in the freezer heaven knows how long, strew on sheet. Cook for 1 hour, but since it was ½ a chicken, 45 minutes. At about 45 minutes the fire alarm went off. I need to clean my oven. I tested the temperature and it was above 165F near the bone.
OMG. It was good. The breast was juicy and tender, and the breast is one of my least favorite parts. The bread, the parts that weren’t burnt, were like huge flavorful croutons. Garlic, which I left in the skins, tasty too. Excellent!
I had butchered half of it when I bothered to take a look at the packaging. It was a Polyface chicken. The same Polyface Farm as featured in Michael Pollan’s Omnivore’s Dilemma. I was immediately struck with my own dilemma. Was I going to continue with my plan or was I going to see if fresh chicken from Polyface tasted as good as the hype not knowing if the freezing would make a difference. Since I had cut up half of it that was going into the freezer. The other half was going to be roasted.
I chose a recipe from the Gospel According to St. Martha, aka Martha Stewart Living. It was simple. Preheat oven to 425F. Take a chicken, put on foiled cookie sheet (foil not according to recipe but my desire for easy clean up). Brush with butter. Though I failed to read this and wound up pouring bits of melted butter on it. Salt and pepper. Take fresh thyme, stick under breasts and strew on sheet. Smash some garlic, place on sheet. Take day old baguette, in my case bread that has been in the freezer heaven knows how long, strew on sheet. Cook for 1 hour, but since it was ½ a chicken, 45 minutes. At about 45 minutes the fire alarm went off. I need to clean my oven. I tested the temperature and it was above 165F near the bone.
OMG. It was good. The breast was juicy and tender, and the breast is one of my least favorite parts. The bread, the parts that weren’t burnt, were like huge flavorful croutons. Garlic, which I left in the skins, tasty too. Excellent!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Paralyzed by Quality
I’m trying to integrate more organic and locally grown food in my diet, with a slight hope that the more expensive the food the less of it I’ll eat, and the more weight I will keep off. This hasn’t worked so far as I am making lots of ice cream. Lots of local dairy, local eggs and local & organic fruit with organic sugar.
The problem I am now increasingly facing is meat. I’ve been buying locally grown or organic fruits and veggies and have no problem deciding what to do with them. I can eat them straight, put them in something healthy (or not so much), or let them become at one with the composter. But with meat, because of the expense I am sometimes paralyzed as to what to do with it. Considering a whole chicken I bought for $17, it took me a couple of weeks to decide what to do with it. I finally took it out of the freezer and cooked it, only after deciding what would be the best way to make the most of the bird. I was giving this bird more consideration than I had given any other chicken. I didn’t want to waste the bird on some unproven recipe, or drown it in sauces so I couldn’t taste it, and soup (tomato veggie) seemed to be unworthy. I finally decided on a chicken curry that was just lots of onions, salt, cinnamon and another spice. I had set aside the breast meat for my classic chicken marsala. It was good in the onion gravy and I could definitely taste the chicken.
Though I felt wasteful tossing the skin. I did save the wing tips for chicken stock. Also since buying the $17 local chickie, I had not bought any conventional chicken out of wanting to try to live more organically. But I do see myself buying conventional chicken to test out new recipes. Once tried and true it may be set aside for local chicken.
There is a piece of buffalo in the freezer waiting for me to figure out what to do with it.
I’m still going to buy conventional lamb, because I haven’t heard anything really bad about it. Yes, it has to get from down under to me in DC, but during its life it is feeding upon grass and apparently don’t take as much energy to raise and even when accounting for shipping uses less energy than local sheep farmers. Yet, beef and veal need to be local and grass fed, as well as goats.
The problem with buying higher quality and expensive food is I feel worse when I have to throw it out.
The problem I am now increasingly facing is meat. I’ve been buying locally grown or organic fruits and veggies and have no problem deciding what to do with them. I can eat them straight, put them in something healthy (or not so much), or let them become at one with the composter. But with meat, because of the expense I am sometimes paralyzed as to what to do with it. Considering a whole chicken I bought for $17, it took me a couple of weeks to decide what to do with it. I finally took it out of the freezer and cooked it, only after deciding what would be the best way to make the most of the bird. I was giving this bird more consideration than I had given any other chicken. I didn’t want to waste the bird on some unproven recipe, or drown it in sauces so I couldn’t taste it, and soup (tomato veggie) seemed to be unworthy. I finally decided on a chicken curry that was just lots of onions, salt, cinnamon and another spice. I had set aside the breast meat for my classic chicken marsala. It was good in the onion gravy and I could definitely taste the chicken.
Though I felt wasteful tossing the skin. I did save the wing tips for chicken stock. Also since buying the $17 local chickie, I had not bought any conventional chicken out of wanting to try to live more organically. But I do see myself buying conventional chicken to test out new recipes. Once tried and true it may be set aside for local chicken.
There is a piece of buffalo in the freezer waiting for me to figure out what to do with it.
I’m still going to buy conventional lamb, because I haven’t heard anything really bad about it. Yes, it has to get from down under to me in DC, but during its life it is feeding upon grass and apparently don’t take as much energy to raise and even when accounting for shipping uses less energy than local sheep farmers. Yet, beef and veal need to be local and grass fed, as well as goats.
The problem with buying higher quality and expensive food is I feel worse when I have to throw it out.
Monday, June 07, 2010
The Church and the Poor
I've been thinking about my grandfather, who died years before I was born. He was s poor sharecropper supporting a wife and 5 kids. And he was deacon of a small Baptist Church in BFE, NC.
It dawned on me that these small churches could be one of the few places where the poor are given a chance to fill roles of leadership and responsibility. The poor are not clients but participants and stewards.
It dawned on me that these small churches could be one of the few places where the poor are given a chance to fill roles of leadership and responsibility. The poor are not clients but participants and stewards.
Sunday, June 06, 2010
Catholic Baptist
There was an article in the Post that I directed the Help to read. It was "Interfaith marriages are rising fast, but they're failing fast too." The article mainly says that couples of different religions have a higher divorce rate. The purpose of pointing out the article was to have a serious discussion and clarify earlier conversations regarding theology.
Not having been raised Catholic I don't believe I have the same attachment as one who was born into it. I love it, but when pondering children, I would be fine if my progeny became Baptists. I was raised Baptist and most of the family on my side, are Baptists. And on any given day I'm not too sure about infant baptism.
My feelings about infant baptism was something I pondered at Mass. Though I do enjoy mass and yearn to be in agreement with the Roman Church, in my heart the issue doesn't seem right. I am very aware of the biblical interpretations legitimizing infant baptism, but there is the issue of my heart. I had asked the Help to defend infant baptism. It was an unfair question considering his lack of Christian knowledge.
Not having been raised Catholic I don't believe I have the same attachment as one who was born into it. I love it, but when pondering children, I would be fine if my progeny became Baptists. I was raised Baptist and most of the family on my side, are Baptists. And on any given day I'm not too sure about infant baptism.
My feelings about infant baptism was something I pondered at Mass. Though I do enjoy mass and yearn to be in agreement with the Roman Church, in my heart the issue doesn't seem right. I am very aware of the biblical interpretations legitimizing infant baptism, but there is the issue of my heart. I had asked the Help to defend infant baptism. It was an unfair question considering his lack of Christian knowledge.
Friday, June 04, 2010
Catholic, Anglican, Baptist, Agnostic
Those are my choices.
The Help invited me to a bible study with some people from his church and I had a good time but a minor, very minor issue was the fact I was Catholic and everybody else was Presbyterian. At one point during the eating/meal part of the gathering one fellow was telling how his father led others to Christ and how the people of the town were not Christian. The people were Catholic and engaging in some odd little patron saint thing, which I guess was to illustrate their idolatry. I wasn't offended, as so much, I don't know. I decided to interpret it as the people being wrapped up in a cultural activity that had very little to do with the Gospels. The job of the saints is to point us to Christ, apparently this saint wasn't doing his job.
The more I think of it I know well in my heart I am not a Presbyterian, nor will I ever be. For one, I can only take the worship services in occasional bites. The sermons are too long to me. If you can't make your point in 10-20 minutes, you're droning. That's what drove me from the Baptist church. The sermons were long and at times didn't seem to have a point. They lost me. Thank G-d, literally, he manged to sweep me up into the crowd going to St. Augustine's Catholic Church in Gainesville, when I was on a mission to go to Burger King. It was either my freshmen or sophomore year (as I was still living in the dorms) and by that time, not going to church. When I was living with my parents, I kinda went to church, but I remember there was a point when I stopped going altogether. College, didn't go at all, until that weekend when I got swept into St. Augustines.
I did RCIA but didn't take the plunge. I was also checking out Grace Episcopal in G'ville. And come to think it is amazing I stuck with the Episcopal church then because my first encounter was with huggy hippies at the Episcopal student center across the street from campus. Ewww, hippies. My desire was to get the F*ck away from them when I saw their idea of the peace. I'm older now, now, I'd be firmer with extending my hand. Grace was cool. Grace was downtown, away from the campus. I liked them and got something out of it. I alternated between Catholic and Episcopal during my undergrad and my grad programs.
During my second grad program I didn't get to church often. I tried St. Andrew's in College Park, but didn't care for it, and didn't find it worth dealing with the metrobus in PG County nor the hills of Hyattsville to keep going. I tried to make it to St. George's in Virginia Sq, where I had been going prior to grad school, but Sunday's on a fractured green line, was a no go. So I really didn't go to church much those two years. I wasn't thinking much about theological issues much either.
After grad school I moved closer to a metro rail line. St. Andrew's was still uninteresting and I think, I'm not sure, returned to St. Georges. I can't remember when I returned to St. Georges. It might have been when I moved into DC, when going from the green to the orange lines on a Sunday morning was less a pain in the ass. But still a pain.
Somewhere in there I met up with Roland who then pointed me to the Church of the Really, Really Blond People and the Church of the Gay Lawyer (which upon last visit seemed to be getting more hetro). Though longer than I'd like, I did enjoy the CotGL, but the CotRRBP was a straight shot from the house on bike, had the best coffee hour, a kick-ass adult forum and a cool soup kitchen.
My appearances at Baptist churches pretty much came down to weddings, funerals, and instances where I had no choice (see, relatives). There are things about the Baptist Church that I enjoy, but my interest in the Lord, falls asleep, like the rest of me would if it weren't for dumb mind games I play to stay awake during the sermon. Sadly I found myself doing the same at the Help's church.
At Anglican/Episcopal and Roman Catholic churches I feel myself growing closer to G-d and I genuinely enjoy worship, even when the music is crap. At the black Baptist churches of my family, the music is good. If someone died, so is the food. The sermons are 'eh' and remind me why I left. At my grandmother's funeral (the mean one) I stayed interested in the sermon by picking out everything that was wrong. The pastor saying that she not saying one unkind word to anyone was the biggest lie. A kind lie, but a lie none the less. Note, she was the mean one.
And with the Baptist church I have all sorts of familial ties that make it a choice over any other protestant denomination outside of Anglicanism (and maybe the Lutheran church on a good day). My favorite uncle is the deacon of the baptist church where my grandfather served as deacon. My half-sister's husband is the pastor at some small baptist church in Florida. My father, just recently turning his life over to the Lord, serves on the men's choir and some church board at the baptist church where I was baptized. It is the same church that it seems many of our family has attended for decades (dare I say 100 years?). My mother serves on the usher board at another baptist church. Closer to here my aunts belong to a baptist church about 5 blocks from my home, and in helping one aunt with church activities, I've been dragged to that church and other baptist churches in DC ever since I was a teenager visiting. If it weren't for falling asleep and loosing interest, I might have remained a Baptist. If it weren't for the draw and the utter joy I feel in participating in the mass or the holy Eucharist in the RC and Anglican church I might have become an agnostic. But there is nothing (short of my struggling love of the Help) that would have drawn me to the Presbyterian Church.
The Help invited me to a bible study with some people from his church and I had a good time but a minor, very minor issue was the fact I was Catholic and everybody else was Presbyterian. At one point during the eating/meal part of the gathering one fellow was telling how his father led others to Christ and how the people of the town were not Christian. The people were Catholic and engaging in some odd little patron saint thing, which I guess was to illustrate their idolatry. I wasn't offended, as so much, I don't know. I decided to interpret it as the people being wrapped up in a cultural activity that had very little to do with the Gospels. The job of the saints is to point us to Christ, apparently this saint wasn't doing his job.
The more I think of it I know well in my heart I am not a Presbyterian, nor will I ever be. For one, I can only take the worship services in occasional bites. The sermons are too long to me. If you can't make your point in 10-20 minutes, you're droning. That's what drove me from the Baptist church. The sermons were long and at times didn't seem to have a point. They lost me. Thank G-d, literally, he manged to sweep me up into the crowd going to St. Augustine's Catholic Church in Gainesville, when I was on a mission to go to Burger King. It was either my freshmen or sophomore year (as I was still living in the dorms) and by that time, not going to church. When I was living with my parents, I kinda went to church, but I remember there was a point when I stopped going altogether. College, didn't go at all, until that weekend when I got swept into St. Augustines.
I did RCIA but didn't take the plunge. I was also checking out Grace Episcopal in G'ville. And come to think it is amazing I stuck with the Episcopal church then because my first encounter was with huggy hippies at the Episcopal student center across the street from campus. Ewww, hippies. My desire was to get the F*ck away from them when I saw their idea of the peace. I'm older now, now, I'd be firmer with extending my hand. Grace was cool. Grace was downtown, away from the campus. I liked them and got something out of it. I alternated between Catholic and Episcopal during my undergrad and my grad programs.
During my second grad program I didn't get to church often. I tried St. Andrew's in College Park, but didn't care for it, and didn't find it worth dealing with the metrobus in PG County nor the hills of Hyattsville to keep going. I tried to make it to St. George's in Virginia Sq, where I had been going prior to grad school, but Sunday's on a fractured green line, was a no go. So I really didn't go to church much those two years. I wasn't thinking much about theological issues much either.
After grad school I moved closer to a metro rail line. St. Andrew's was still uninteresting and I think, I'm not sure, returned to St. Georges. I can't remember when I returned to St. Georges. It might have been when I moved into DC, when going from the green to the orange lines on a Sunday morning was less a pain in the ass. But still a pain.
Somewhere in there I met up with Roland who then pointed me to the Church of the Really, Really Blond People and the Church of the Gay Lawyer (which upon last visit seemed to be getting more hetro). Though longer than I'd like, I did enjoy the CotGL, but the CotRRBP was a straight shot from the house on bike, had the best coffee hour, a kick-ass adult forum and a cool soup kitchen.
My appearances at Baptist churches pretty much came down to weddings, funerals, and instances where I had no choice (see, relatives). There are things about the Baptist Church that I enjoy, but my interest in the Lord, falls asleep, like the rest of me would if it weren't for dumb mind games I play to stay awake during the sermon. Sadly I found myself doing the same at the Help's church.
At Anglican/Episcopal and Roman Catholic churches I feel myself growing closer to G-d and I genuinely enjoy worship, even when the music is crap. At the black Baptist churches of my family, the music is good. If someone died, so is the food. The sermons are 'eh' and remind me why I left. At my grandmother's funeral (the mean one) I stayed interested in the sermon by picking out everything that was wrong. The pastor saying that she not saying one unkind word to anyone was the biggest lie. A kind lie, but a lie none the less. Note, she was the mean one.
And with the Baptist church I have all sorts of familial ties that make it a choice over any other protestant denomination outside of Anglicanism (and maybe the Lutheran church on a good day). My favorite uncle is the deacon of the baptist church where my grandfather served as deacon. My half-sister's husband is the pastor at some small baptist church in Florida. My father, just recently turning his life over to the Lord, serves on the men's choir and some church board at the baptist church where I was baptized. It is the same church that it seems many of our family has attended for decades (dare I say 100 years?). My mother serves on the usher board at another baptist church. Closer to here my aunts belong to a baptist church about 5 blocks from my home, and in helping one aunt with church activities, I've been dragged to that church and other baptist churches in DC ever since I was a teenager visiting. If it weren't for falling asleep and loosing interest, I might have remained a Baptist. If it weren't for the draw and the utter joy I feel in participating in the mass or the holy Eucharist in the RC and Anglican church I might have become an agnostic. But there is nothing (short of my struggling love of the Help) that would have drawn me to the Presbyterian Church.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Ponder a future option
I do ponder future scenarios. Not that in the current time I have the possiblity of following through. It's sort of like Plan S, to the Plans A-D I'm currently operating on.
I've been looking on-line at houses in the College Park vicinity. Particularly houses under $185K with decent sized lots with lots of sunshine (not too many trees). Why? Oh, pondering how could we live if by some chance we got married (no he hasn't asked, and I'm trying not to pressure, trying) and how could we go from DINK to OINK to OIO/TK. He being the 'O'.
Yes, I make more and the problem is not so much money as it is security. If we sold the DC house, took the equity we could buy a PG house and not have a mortgage, eliminating one financial stressor. With a PGCo house I could expand my gardening (and possible deer hunting) and supplement the food bill. But the thing is just one income stream makes me nervous. I've got 3 currently. My job, the room I rent out and the Florida house. Of course the Florida house is not a profit maker. I'll be lucky to break even each year considering someone's inablity to pay rent.
But I'm not on that plan. I'm still single. I still have to save up for the basement for the DC house. Plan A continues.
I've been looking on-line at houses in the College Park vicinity. Particularly houses under $185K with decent sized lots with lots of sunshine (not too many trees). Why? Oh, pondering how could we live if by some chance we got married (no he hasn't asked, and I'm trying not to pressure, trying) and how could we go from DINK to OINK to OIO/TK. He being the 'O'.
Yes, I make more and the problem is not so much money as it is security. If we sold the DC house, took the equity we could buy a PG house and not have a mortgage, eliminating one financial stressor. With a PGCo house I could expand my gardening (and possible deer hunting) and supplement the food bill. But the thing is just one income stream makes me nervous. I've got 3 currently. My job, the room I rent out and the Florida house. Of course the Florida house is not a profit maker. I'll be lucky to break even each year considering someone's inablity to pay rent.
But I'm not on that plan. I'm still single. I still have to save up for the basement for the DC house. Plan A continues.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Imagining the good life- home
First, I like where I live. But is it a dream home? Nope. There are some aspects of it that annoy me at times. Like a wet cellar. Ah, homeownership.
One scenario I imagine is an English townhome. I now forget the name of my British host (Paul?) but his home was lovely with a conservatory overlooking the 'garden' which is british for "back yard". The conservatory was a sort of living room with a pitched glass ceiling and 2 glass walls. Not exactly a sun room. Less patio type furniture. More greenhouse meets library. A place to read and fall asleep and nap.
The dining room is not so much a separate room but a place off the kitchen, but not in the living room where you have the table. On the table is a bowl full of citrus fruit and other things that don't attract fruit flies. Oh, yes, the real world works in my imagined good life, because if it didn't I would not be able to obtain it. It would be pointless to imagine a world where the real world was not a part of it.
When I think of the boundaries of my land at the dream house, I wonder about maintenance and the practicality of such a thing. So if I am creating this dream and I have the chance for say a brick wall around the house I should ask myself now, if I should have a brick wall. Could I maintain a brick wall? Would the installation price undermine other projects by removing funding? I see country houses surrounded by bare land and a sad looking brick outcropping and I don't want that.
Rather, if I say had my step-grandfather's 30 some odd acres, the house would be near the road, the property line, lined with fruit trees, then grazing land for the odd cow, some goats and a few sheep. Closer to the house fences to keep out the herbivores, lined with bushes and briars. Inside that, a courtyard garden, filled with veggies and friuts. Near the garden door, a shotgun, 'cause is it deer huntin' if you kill a 4 legged interloper munching on your salads?
But back inside. There is a decent kitchen, with a stove that can work even if the power goes out. There is a generator. There is a library. There are guest rooms and a root cellar. More of that later.
One scenario I imagine is an English townhome. I now forget the name of my British host (Paul?) but his home was lovely with a conservatory overlooking the 'garden' which is british for "back yard". The conservatory was a sort of living room with a pitched glass ceiling and 2 glass walls. Not exactly a sun room. Less patio type furniture. More greenhouse meets library. A place to read and fall asleep and nap.
The dining room is not so much a separate room but a place off the kitchen, but not in the living room where you have the table. On the table is a bowl full of citrus fruit and other things that don't attract fruit flies. Oh, yes, the real world works in my imagined good life, because if it didn't I would not be able to obtain it. It would be pointless to imagine a world where the real world was not a part of it.
When I think of the boundaries of my land at the dream house, I wonder about maintenance and the practicality of such a thing. So if I am creating this dream and I have the chance for say a brick wall around the house I should ask myself now, if I should have a brick wall. Could I maintain a brick wall? Would the installation price undermine other projects by removing funding? I see country houses surrounded by bare land and a sad looking brick outcropping and I don't want that.
Rather, if I say had my step-grandfather's 30 some odd acres, the house would be near the road, the property line, lined with fruit trees, then grazing land for the odd cow, some goats and a few sheep. Closer to the house fences to keep out the herbivores, lined with bushes and briars. Inside that, a courtyard garden, filled with veggies and friuts. Near the garden door, a shotgun, 'cause is it deer huntin' if you kill a 4 legged interloper munching on your salads?
But back inside. There is a decent kitchen, with a stove that can work even if the power goes out. There is a generator. There is a library. There are guest rooms and a root cellar. More of that later.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Trying to imagine the good life
Quoting the lady Jewish farmer, I mentioned that the only way we can lead in helping the planet become 'greener' is to show that 'green' is the good life. So that is part of it. There are other bases that I integrate in when trying to imagine what the good life for me would look like. The reason to imagine the good life is so I have a vision to work towards.
Reading, that is part of the good life. I imagine sitting in a good comfy chair engrossed in a book. I have experienced that before. Sadly I have trouble replicating it. The book may be tiresome. The chair lacking proper back support. My arms get tired. I get distracted. But there was so great joy in getting lost in a book. I get lost in the web or on the Internet, but I am not left with the same feeling.
Good worship. There are some masses that kick assess. And they don't come along often. But then there are the ones with the hymns I love and take great joy in singing. There are homilies that stick with me long after I've returned home. Those great masses are rare and valued in my heart.
Naps. There is napping in the good life.
Gardening. There are fruits to be picked. Flowers to be dead headed in the good life.
Food. You know there is food. Good food in the good life, eaten with friends.
Walks and cycling, or hiking and biking. These are in the good life.
These things aren't all necessarily green. But they can be local and organic. I don't see reading has being terribly promoted by ad agencies as there are only so many books one can read and electronic games make you more money.
Reading, that is part of the good life. I imagine sitting in a good comfy chair engrossed in a book. I have experienced that before. Sadly I have trouble replicating it. The book may be tiresome. The chair lacking proper back support. My arms get tired. I get distracted. But there was so great joy in getting lost in a book. I get lost in the web or on the Internet, but I am not left with the same feeling.
Good worship. There are some masses that kick assess. And they don't come along often. But then there are the ones with the hymns I love and take great joy in singing. There are homilies that stick with me long after I've returned home. Those great masses are rare and valued in my heart.
Naps. There is napping in the good life.
Gardening. There are fruits to be picked. Flowers to be dead headed in the good life.
Food. You know there is food. Good food in the good life, eaten with friends.
Walks and cycling, or hiking and biking. These are in the good life.
These things aren't all necessarily green. But they can be local and organic. I don't see reading has being terribly promoted by ad agencies as there are only so many books one can read and electronic games make you more money.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Poor Ms. Kagan and the right to be an asexual cat lady
I know as a conservative I'm supposed to be against her but so far her biggest fault is liberals like her and until we hear she has personally drop kicked babies over cliffs, she'll more than likely be the next Supreme Court justice. But I feel badly for her, as a single woman.
Here's the problem, you get older, it's a bit harder to make new close friends. You get set in your ways. You find a life that's comfortable, like a pair of old stained sweatpants, but this doesn't include another person. And because you aren't actively seeking someone else, particularly someone of the opposite sex, and if this continues for several years, decades, people assume you're not straight. Gawd, why is that!
Can't a person just not be single and happy?
If it were not for that idea that I'll credit G-d for putting in my head to approach the Help on our current path, I was sort of planning on spinsterhood. An enjoyable spinsterhood. Unfortunately, my 8 year period between boyfriends and about 3 or 4 years without going on a date during that period, I felt somewhat obligated to prove my heterosexuality by interjecting mention of ex-boyfriends in conversation. Not that in that period I didn't want a boyfriend or date, but the environment and the available persons just weren't suitable. My pursuit of men really didn't go beyond prayer and updating dating web profiles.
But now I'm in a relationship with the Help, long time friend turned boyfriend, with an eye (no date yet and stop asking) towards marriage. But the irritation (anger is too strong a word) came concerning the speculation of Ms. Kagan's sexual orientation because she's an unmarried squat woman with a short haircut. It reminded me of a conversation with others, men & women, who were in their late 30s, 40s (maybe 50s) about the problem of people thinking you were gay just because your dating life was dead, you were never married and had no kids.
I look forward to the day when I do get married. Mainly so I can form better relationships with associates who are lesbians, because I've kept a distance because I don't want to bother with defending my orientation to other people.
Here's the problem, you get older, it's a bit harder to make new close friends. You get set in your ways. You find a life that's comfortable, like a pair of old stained sweatpants, but this doesn't include another person. And because you aren't actively seeking someone else, particularly someone of the opposite sex, and if this continues for several years, decades, people assume you're not straight. Gawd, why is that!
Can't a person just not be single and happy?
If it were not for that idea that I'll credit G-d for putting in my head to approach the Help on our current path, I was sort of planning on spinsterhood. An enjoyable spinsterhood. Unfortunately, my 8 year period between boyfriends and about 3 or 4 years without going on a date during that period, I felt somewhat obligated to prove my heterosexuality by interjecting mention of ex-boyfriends in conversation. Not that in that period I didn't want a boyfriend or date, but the environment and the available persons just weren't suitable. My pursuit of men really didn't go beyond prayer and updating dating web profiles.
But now I'm in a relationship with the Help, long time friend turned boyfriend, with an eye (no date yet and stop asking) towards marriage. But the irritation (anger is too strong a word) came concerning the speculation of Ms. Kagan's sexual orientation because she's an unmarried squat woman with a short haircut. It reminded me of a conversation with others, men & women, who were in their late 30s, 40s (maybe 50s) about the problem of people thinking you were gay just because your dating life was dead, you were never married and had no kids.
I look forward to the day when I do get married. Mainly so I can form better relationships with associates who are lesbians, because I've kept a distance because I don't want to bother with defending my orientation to other people.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
10 Rules for Dealing with the Police
WARNING- There is language that migth offend you. Yes, you. Yes, YOU. The one reading this. So no lip about how offended you were.
I'm still conflicted over this but it is very informative and the Flex Your Rights people are very right when they say if you don't flex your rights you're apt to loose them.
Movie Levels
See it in the Theater worthy- These are things where someone needs to win an Academy Award for Sound or CGI effects. I will pay over $8 bucks for this.
Netflix Worthy- Everything I didn't have to see in a theater. Stuff with a plot.
TV Movie worthy- Not even worth renting, but it's on TV, I'm home and got the time to see it. Stupid inane chick flix fit the bill.
Netflix on demand worthy- Not worth waiting for in the mail and grainy quality is acceptable. I don't care about the directors comments nor do I want to bother with extra features.
Stuck on an airplane worthy- I'm trapped. It's 2-8 hours before we land. I can try to go to sleep or put on my headphones and watch Elf.
Netflix Worthy- Everything I didn't have to see in a theater. Stuff with a plot.
TV Movie worthy- Not even worth renting, but it's on TV, I'm home and got the time to see it. Stupid inane chick flix fit the bill.
Netflix on demand worthy- Not worth waiting for in the mail and grainy quality is acceptable. I don't care about the directors comments nor do I want to bother with extra features.
Stuck on an airplane worthy- I'm trapped. It's 2-8 hours before we land. I can try to go to sleep or put on my headphones and watch Elf.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
"It just happened" prevention insurance
I'm trying to plan a summer vacation with the Help. And I've narrowed it down to two places on two different weekends both in Western Virginia. Not West Virginia but 'Western'. These places I'm trying to rent for the weekend are privately owned cottages and cabins in rural VA, surrounded by farmland or woods, one in the shadow of the mountains. Part of the deal is we need a chaperon.
I know what you're thinking, he and I are two educated adults, why would we need a chaperon. You know that phrase, "it just happened." A couple of friends of ours, also educated adults, one an MD, said 'it just happened' when explaining how they are getting their 1st child. A doctor. You'd think this person would have a great understanding of how human reproduction works. You may also be thinking, you and he are such committed Christians. Yup. Even though some people in some one's church might not think of me as a Christian, yup, we love Jesus and G-d and occasionally the Holy Spirit (kinda forget the Spirit at times). However, I still sin, fall from grace, wander into temptation, do dumb stuff. So thinking logically, and learning from mistakes of others, we need a chaperon.
So I started contacting folks who'd I think would make lovely travel companions. Jon, being one. Problem with Jon, there is a 50% chance he'll flake. Something will come up right before we leave. I'd put money on it. I'd bet it would be a family-friend emergency in the Midwest or wanting to catch up with work. So I emailed my cousin to be an alternate, should he flake. 50%, and that's being generous.
I know what you're thinking, he and I are two educated adults, why would we need a chaperon. You know that phrase, "it just happened." A couple of friends of ours, also educated adults, one an MD, said 'it just happened' when explaining how they are getting their 1st child. A doctor. You'd think this person would have a great understanding of how human reproduction works. You may also be thinking, you and he are such committed Christians. Yup. Even though some people in some one's church might not think of me as a Christian, yup, we love Jesus and G-d and occasionally the Holy Spirit (kinda forget the Spirit at times). However, I still sin, fall from grace, wander into temptation, do dumb stuff. So thinking logically, and learning from mistakes of others, we need a chaperon.
So I started contacting folks who'd I think would make lovely travel companions. Jon, being one. Problem with Jon, there is a 50% chance he'll flake. Something will come up right before we leave. I'd put money on it. I'd bet it would be a family-friend emergency in the Midwest or wanting to catch up with work. So I emailed my cousin to be an alternate, should he flake. 50%, and that's being generous.
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
Plan B or C or Z-11
At the Holocaust Museum I had two co-workers who were supervisory and semi-supervisory who played little games that can best be called, "worst case scenario". It fell under the relm of imagine the exhibit area is packed and some kid throws up, what do you do? And then they go about talking out how they'd approach the problem, pitfalls in that strategy, etc. It would stay in their area of responsiblity and possible likihood.
Everyso often I play the game in my own head. I shared one scenario with the Help. I thought what would happen if I lost my job. Well I'd seek work for 6 months. After 6 months I'd put the house on the market and move my butt back to Florida, where the cost of living is cheaper. Oh, and where I own a house. I'd move in with my sister and take over my youngest niece's room. Either she'd move out into the living room or move in her sister's room, which I already know would cause many problems. But hey, it builds character.
In Florida I would re-learn how to drive a backhoe help daddy in his business. Or I'd try to get my old cashier's job back at the Winn-Dixie. Then figure out how to restart my career and spend a lot of time applying for everything at the University of Florida or SFCC (the community college in Gainesville).
The Help, asked why would I go back to Florida? Why not? I mentioned I would have the support of my family. He pointed out that I support them. Yes, but they (with the exception of my sister) aren't that dependent on what I've funneled to them.
Going back to Florida has always been the plan when I thought I would not cut it. I really like DC and I have a few relatives here, and it is the best area for my particular field. But if I'm going to be poor and broke anywhere I'd rather be poor and broke in Florida.
Everyso often I play the game in my own head. I shared one scenario with the Help. I thought what would happen if I lost my job. Well I'd seek work for 6 months. After 6 months I'd put the house on the market and move my butt back to Florida, where the cost of living is cheaper. Oh, and where I own a house. I'd move in with my sister and take over my youngest niece's room. Either she'd move out into the living room or move in her sister's room, which I already know would cause many problems. But hey, it builds character.
In Florida I would re-learn how to drive a backhoe help daddy in his business. Or I'd try to get my old cashier's job back at the Winn-Dixie. Then figure out how to restart my career and spend a lot of time applying for everything at the University of Florida or SFCC (the community college in Gainesville).
The Help, asked why would I go back to Florida? Why not? I mentioned I would have the support of my family. He pointed out that I support them. Yes, but they (with the exception of my sister) aren't that dependent on what I've funneled to them.
Going back to Florida has always been the plan when I thought I would not cut it. I really like DC and I have a few relatives here, and it is the best area for my particular field. But if I'm going to be poor and broke anywhere I'd rather be poor and broke in Florida.
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Parents & money
The last time I talked to the Great & All Powerful Mummy she’d had a rough night at work at the nursing home. On the night shift there are fewer people on staff, so she had more people to deal with and those people had bowel movement issues of the really stinky kind. So she was musing about quitting her part-time job and getting something in retail or switching to another nursing home. I asked her when she was going to retire. She’s of the age to do so. She said she had too many bills.
Now I would love to help my mother but there are several problems. One problem being my mother, the other, my father. My mother is much better with money than daddy, who is very good at making it, but is most excellent in blowing it leaving a ditch of debt behind. Mommy will go along to get along and will walk into the kind of debt that traps poor people. And middle class people. For example, I’ll be damned to figure out her mortgage rate. Seriously. We know how much she owes, but looking at the statements I can’t figure out the rate to save my life. I got two graduate degrees. Yes, neither of them in anything mathematical, but I know the company and they’re evil. They gave my my 1st credit card. I dropped them when I noticed I was getting charged 25% interest. And her credit cards and store cards slowly build up on odd purchases for herself or the girls.
Now the plan is no longer to buy my parent’s house and set it on fire. I seriously have to fix my basement. And so I am saving up money for that and that is in a two year plan, the ‘rent’s house is in a 4 year plan. Daddy, is thinking that I will get them a new house, he’s wrong. I’ve looked at my own goals and there is no money for that…. Unless the Florida housing market is still sucking mightily in 4 years. Though I will not be buying my parent’s house and setting the damned thing on fire, I do plan on cancelling out my mother’s mortgage, which is her largest monthly expense. With that gone she could possibly retire fully. My fear is that she or daddy will find some very legitimate reason to remortgage the house at a crappy interest rate (consolidate credit cards, fix the house, etc) and put themselves in the same mess. It’s her bills that keep her working, and she keeps adding to them little by little. A few months back she was pondering buying someone’s car from church and taking over the payments. I gently tried to tell her she didn’t need payments and would be better off fixing her ugly old hoopdie or that car my sister left in her yard for 2 years. Really, mom does not need a car note on top of her house note and all those high interest credit cards she has. Even if the note was just $100 that would be $100 more dollars she’d have to earn, and she’s not making enough now without a car note.
I will try to honor my mother and father, provided they don’t sabotage the plan to help them
Now I would love to help my mother but there are several problems. One problem being my mother, the other, my father. My mother is much better with money than daddy, who is very good at making it, but is most excellent in blowing it leaving a ditch of debt behind. Mommy will go along to get along and will walk into the kind of debt that traps poor people. And middle class people. For example, I’ll be damned to figure out her mortgage rate. Seriously. We know how much she owes, but looking at the statements I can’t figure out the rate to save my life. I got two graduate degrees. Yes, neither of them in anything mathematical, but I know the company and they’re evil. They gave my my 1st credit card. I dropped them when I noticed I was getting charged 25% interest. And her credit cards and store cards slowly build up on odd purchases for herself or the girls.
Now the plan is no longer to buy my parent’s house and set it on fire. I seriously have to fix my basement. And so I am saving up money for that and that is in a two year plan, the ‘rent’s house is in a 4 year plan. Daddy, is thinking that I will get them a new house, he’s wrong. I’ve looked at my own goals and there is no money for that…. Unless the Florida housing market is still sucking mightily in 4 years. Though I will not be buying my parent’s house and setting the damned thing on fire, I do plan on cancelling out my mother’s mortgage, which is her largest monthly expense. With that gone she could possibly retire fully. My fear is that she or daddy will find some very legitimate reason to remortgage the house at a crappy interest rate (consolidate credit cards, fix the house, etc) and put themselves in the same mess. It’s her bills that keep her working, and she keeps adding to them little by little. A few months back she was pondering buying someone’s car from church and taking over the payments. I gently tried to tell her she didn’t need payments and would be better off fixing her ugly old hoopdie or that car my sister left in her yard for 2 years. Really, mom does not need a car note on top of her house note and all those high interest credit cards she has. Even if the note was just $100 that would be $100 more dollars she’d have to earn, and she’s not making enough now without a car note.
I will try to honor my mother and father, provided they don’t sabotage the plan to help them
Sunday, May 02, 2010
Not going to throw fruit
Quick comment about the substitute priest. I don't want to throw fruit at his head. Actually this fellow was quite lively, he almost wandered in to Baptist preacher mode (style not length). I like him. Not like a past priestly sub who was gawdawful boring.
Other comments about today's mass. A song from the cantor, was tres 18th Century. I could easily imagine candle-lit rooms, white powered wigs and footmen standing in the dark corners. Another song was "On ward Christian Soldiers" but with changed lyrics, wussy lyrics about Christian fidelity. bletch.
Other comments about today's mass. A song from the cantor, was tres 18th Century. I could easily imagine candle-lit rooms, white powered wigs and footmen standing in the dark corners. Another song was "On ward Christian Soldiers" but with changed lyrics, wussy lyrics about Christian fidelity. bletch.
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