Entrepreneurial Me

For one who works for Big Brother, I mean Uncle Sam, I must acknowledge my entrepreneurial streak. It's there, but it doesn't play a obvious role. However in my dating of The Help (MH), I'm becoming more aware of it. Early on I told him that he was so occupying my thoughts I was thinking of charging him rent. Amazingly he didn't run screaming from me. Last night I told him of my middle school antics of where I was a gum dealer. Not only did I LOVE gum, I sold it to my classmates against school rules. I bought gumballs around the corner for about .03 or .05 cents then, resold them to classmates for about .10.
With my home I rent out my extra bedroom and sleep in the smallest room. Heck if the cellar wasn't so frickin cold and creepy and damp, I'd camp out down there and rent out my room. I see an empty bedroom and I see money that can be made.
I see my front yard and I see produce that can be bartered, and I do barter.
I walk down the street and sometimes I see money, literal, actual money.
Then there is the housing mojo, which I have discovered can be used for other people. With the house it is more of a discount than a money falling out of the sky thing. For the longest while I had a 3.75% mortgage. Fixed. Also got the house before the market went crazy. And my annual real estate taxes are crazy low. PB2G.
America, land of opportunity, if your actually looking for it.

London- 2004

2004LLX
Originally uploaded by In Shaw

I am just liking this old pix of The Help. He had more hair then....
Anyway, we traveled to London because the previous year I went to the London Lindy Exchange alone, and it was very follow heavy and said 'screw this I'm bringing my own damned lead.' And I did. We went to London, danced, walked around. He did his thing (got interviewed by another radio geek at the BBC), I did mine, and we met up for dinner to recount the day. It was a very enjoyable trip.

Craigslist once again damages my faith in humanity

I have a chair. I want to give it away. It is a nice chair but, I haven't used it much. It fails to roll on carpet and the rollers damage wood floors so it sat in the basement.
Now were it not for the friendly neighborhood drug dealers I would have put it on the sidewalk with a nice "FREE" sign. Drug dealers like chairs. Especially nice cushioned chairs with wood detailing and wheels. So the sign option was out. I couldn't figure out pictures and Freecycle so Craigslist.
I don't know why I keep doing this. Maybe because it is less worse than trying to find a roommate, but Craigslist puts me in contact with the flakes of the world. But before I go on I must admit I committed a Craigslist sin and I blame my contractor. I wanted insulation. I wanted my contractor to pick it up. My contractor wanted nothing to do with it and told the listee (as far as I know) it wasn't worth it. I felt bad because of all the back and forth.
Anyway, guy emails me, says his friend wants my chair, I call him, leave a message, his friend calls me. The friend and I settle on a something that diverges from my post because I actually put a pick up window. After work, before I go to bed, is the window. Didn't work for friend. So I agree to leave it outside for a time, cover it up, blah. Next morning chair still in yard. So I go to the next person who emailed me about the chair, offer it to him. I'll know later this evening if he's another no show. If he is, I'll contact the next person. I get a call from the no-show friend, who wanted to go into an explanation that pretty much insulted my neighborhood.
Jimmney Christmas, if you don't want to be wandering in the hood in the AM then don't set up a pick up time in the f*ing AM. I want to take my fellow humans at their word. If you say you want to buy my laurel bay for $45 and you live "round the corner" then you better fraking return my fraking phone call and pick up the plant with money in hand. Do not call me a week later offering $35. No. I'll keep my gods dang plant. (Guess who was up all night watching BSG?) And same goes for the heart pine wood. Either you want it or you don't. Don't jerk me around saying you're going to come, ask me to stick around the house for a window of time that resembles what I've got to deal with from the pest control dude. Somethings aren't worth the $10 I'm asking for.

Not Even Halloween Yet

...and I'm seeing mention of Christmas.
Seriously.
Will the people in charge of the civil, secular xmas please for the love of your unknown god zip it till Thanksgiving.

Body & Spirit

I pondered this idea with MH, hereafter to be referred to as "The Help" mainly because I've called him my driver and recently he's done some janitorial work around the house. I was thinking that the mind, spirit, soul whatever is too closely linked with the body and it's chemistry to be separate. You have a lobotomy, you change. You're not the same person.
I go back to sci-fi and how it leaves out the things that make us "US" that are related to hormones, brain chemistry, medication (or lack thereof), and low level pain from parts of the body that make us grumpy. In Freaky Friday, mom gets transferred into daughter. But what of the adolescent brain development and raging hormones? Or when the angry woman gets transferred into Capt. James T. Kirk and he gets all effeminate, why? Did a shot of estrogen come along for the ride? Then there is the brain software transferred into computers, robots, etc, which lack the signals (most of the time) to tell us that our big toe itches, french toast would hit the spot, it's that time of the month, we're tired, that music is loud, So-N-So is coming and she got on my last nerve, etc. In that way wouldn't the electrical transfer be something akin to transferring a Mac program to at PC or a Palm pilot?
Why does any of this matter? Well it does relate to the "resurrection of the dead" part in belief. We need this body to raise up, because so much of who we are, what temptations we struggle with (crosses to bear), is tied up in the physical form.

Tag 'em and bag 'em

When I was last in Florida I got in touch with the side of the family that distrusted the white man in the form of government that wants to take away your children, your right to protect yourself (from the angry mobs of white men with guns to take away your guns), and who wants to microchip you like some odd whale that needs to be tracked. This is in opposition to the side of the family that trusts government but believes in the white man's continual oppression of the black man. One side bureaucrats working for local and federal government, the other side self employed a-holes. Me, I work for the government but I side with the a-holes, because the government can take away your children, property, and your life.
Whilst gettin' my hair did by my cousin with the salon, in a shop he patched together and sold U of Miami clothing and worthless handbags, I got questioned about microchipping. Then this got into a conversation about walking around without ID. I try not to go to far without my ID. Only because I want to prove I have insurance and not be mistaken for a crackhead and have the EMS take their sweet time. Apparently it is the norm for the family to wander the street sans drivers license or wallet and if they are pulled over give their SS#. It seems the cops can just pull up their info and picture with that number and that's good enough. They bristle and the idea of being required to leave the house with ID.
The distrust on their part is the idea that the white man in the form of the government wants to track and control their movements and restrict their freedoms to be independent and free men. For if the government can tell you how to parent, where to live, what kind of job to have, and how to do that job, you are not free.

Get a 2nd opinion

In today's Washington Post:

She was dumped by a boyfriend who no longer wished to follow her around the world. She found herself heartbroken and sick and finally went to a doctor who said he had news -- at 39, she was with child. Impossible, she replied: Throughout her previous 17-year marriage she tried repeatedly to get pregnant, but was told it could never happen because of fibroids and various other conditions. Besides, her then-lover had told her he'd had a vasectomy, she says.
But she was pregnant. The doctors urged her to abort, she says, because she wouldn't be able to carry to term. Then, Graves says, she was told the child had Down syndrome.
But in 2004 she delivered a healthy baby girl -- "and she's perfect."

Graves being opera singer Denyce Graves. Her wedding pix & story is splashed all over the Style section.
Gad, that or those doctors should be held responsible, as in malpractice suit responsible, not criminal court responsible for misdianosing the child, known as Ella as having Downs. Being in one's late 30s and wanting kids being told to abort someone who you might actually want to have around is fightin words.
This made me think of something a doctor told my sister about Alex, that she was going to have a club foot. Well maybe the pre-natal pixs were too grainy (seriously how do you make anything out in those things?) but she had decent feet.
Then there are the small errors one hears, oh actually that wasn't a girl it's a boy repaint the room thing. Anyway this make me wonder about the level of accurracy in pre-natal diagnosis. There is some accurracy but how often do docs get it wrong or are they being over cautious?

Thoughts on Children, other people's

One of the hard things, among a thousand other things, of living in the city is seeing a scene that I've seen several times before and saddens me. About a week ago I heard a woman on the escalator cursing a blue streak. The words, "damned" "ass" and possibly MF were used. It was harsh language. I didn't see her until the escalator brought her halfway up and I noticed the object of her curses, impatience and annoyance was a child no more than 3 years old. She's not the first mother I've heard curse viciously with nasty blue language in the hood.
I've just finished reading another blog's comments where the majority's sentiment could be boiled down to some people shouldn't have children and there should be some screening process to keep any old body from being a parent. Well considering what criteria people would put up then I guess in that world I wouldn't have the most amazing nieces and nephew. Because seriously, what panel in their right mind would allow my sister to reproduce? She's not the sharpest knife in the drawer and one of the biological fathers of the kids was in prison. She isn't monied. She's very likely to remain low-income. But despite her parenting skills, she's got some great kids.
She isn't the only person with some influence in how the kids are raised. There is their grandma, their step-father, their uncle & aunt (in the case of the nephew), and a gaggle of intrusive other family members. We step in and sometimes take over where she fails. With the exception of my nephew's adoption my my uncle & aunt, there is nothing formal. None of what happened was predicted at the time of their arrival. Who knew she was going to get married? Who knew I was going to buy them a house? Who knew that the nephew would charm another set of relatives so much they would keep him? Who knew? Nobody, 'cept G-d. And maybe that's why we need to leave a lot to him and not some eugenics board.

Just be yourself

BL and I were noting this thing talking over glasses of prosecco about high school vs college. "Just be yourself." You have heard it a million times before and when you were younger you didn't believe it. But older, I'm so thankful that I do believe it and am begining to practice that.
Oh the time wasted trying to be someone else! Trying to impress people with a false front. And then there is the mental anguish of it all. Not that being yourself doen't have it's own problems when 'you' clash with someone else. But at least you're fighting and defending and sometimes sacrificing what is true.
I look forward to that day when in my older age when I don't give a rip what others think of me. Of course I'll have to reign myself in as there is the person I strive to be, for the sake of my own happiness and rightness with G-d, and the misirable wretch that I am. But that struggling person is the person I am.

It's a bug AND a feature

Chatting with the Mikey about some of my characteristics, one being stubborn independence. I proclaimed it was a bug and a feature. Depending on the situation it can be stupid or admirable. Not asking for help/blowing off offers of help, insisting on carrying my own luggage up the stairs, ignoring other's advice and doing my own thing, etc.
Yes, wonderful things happen when help is offered and received, however, I'm impatient and if I want something done (not exactly done right), I'll do it myself.

Meana

Meana- Short for "Mean Angry Baby". Well Meana isn't a baby or a toddler any more. She's in Pre-K and was willing to give me a hug when I was leaving. Which is a great improvement over last time.
Unlike her siblings she won't easily crack a smile. She isn't always looking for a hug and if she doesn't know you then **** you. According to her tattle-tale older sister, Meana has said some bad words.
Sitting out on the stoop on a Friday night where Meana lives, I observed the happenings of the subsized housing. People playing rated R and NC-17 music (seriously listen to the lyrics, F bombs a droppin'), cursing, drinking and carrying on while a gang of 4 year olds (led by Meana) run around at the edge of a parking lot. I asked her father if the place was like that normally (being a Friday night I expect activity), yup, this could be Wednesday too.
So it will be interesting to see if Meana finds another gang in her new local and if I think she'll still hold up a liquor store. The new location isn't low crime as I think the house experienced some vandalism. Most people I've expressed concern to about this suppose it was just bored teens or a disgruntled former occupant. Anyway, it is quiet over there with a big yard, so the girls should be able to entertain each other.

Healthcare

Somewhere in my house is a National Insurance Numbercard from when I worked in London in the 90s. I can't remember if I had any payroll taxes taken out by the British government. I was more concerned about Uncle Sam getting his cut, and even though I was making money overseas, Uncle Sam got his f'in cut. Anyway, it was one of several things I had to do to get legal. Register with the local police station, get an NHS card. I didn't use the system, though it was in London I got pneumonia, it was in the US where I got treated. No insurance. I saw the family doctor, he gave me some free meds, paid $50, that's it.
I wish I did save check stubs from that period to see.
With the whole debate about health going on, I do think there should be some reform, of what, is another matter. Being conservative I'm pretty much concerned about another entitlement program. I don't believe that only families making above $250K will be the only ones paying for it. I'm paying for Medicare now. Comes out of the paycheck every pay period. Who knows if the friggin baby boomers will have broken and bankrupted it by the time I age into it. Same thing with social security. They're edging up the retirement age. Good thing I like my job. I'm paying for that too. Damned hippies will have broken it when I get to that age. All the while, I'll be paying for their medical marijuana. Thank goodness for IRAs, TSPs, and 401ks. Face it, we weren't supposed to live that long. We were to drink and smoke ourselves to death. Eat rich foods, get fat, die of a heart attack. Now I get to live longer so I can work longer.
Pass the butter.

That's some Gaydar

On the season premier of Mad Men, Sal and our favorite man-whore, Don Draper, check into a Baltimore hotel. The man-whore, beds some flightly stewardess, not even trying to be good or faithful to his wife, as expected. Don is very disappointing, but interesting. Sal on the other hand goes to his room alone, complains to the desk that his rooms AC is on the fritz and has a bell hop come and fool around with the dial.
I was disappointed in Sal in Season 2, when it showed he got married to a woman. Why he had to drag some poor woman into is deep closet? Deep, deep closet. He could have stayed single like the Belle Joli rep who hit on him, but alas, no. Misery loves company.
Anyway, the bell hop 'fixes' the AC and we see a close up of Sal's money clip as he flips through 10s and 5s and 1s. My thoughts on this scene were A- RUN SAL YOU GONNA GET ROBBED, it's Baltimore! B- Wow that's some old looking money. C- Ah come on, he fixed your AC give the man a 5.... how much is a 5 in 1964 dollars? And then the bell hop gets into his personal space, and plants a big ole kiss on him. Dang, that is some gaydar.
I'm not going to describe what happens afterwards but let's say it gets far enough that Sal has to adjust his clothes when the fire alarm goes off and he's caught by Don, experienced man-whore, as he and the stewardess go down the fire escape.
Later on the flight back poor Sal looks like "OMG, OMG, you're gonna out me and ruin my life, I'm going to have to live in a box and never wear french cuffs again! Waaah" when Don leans over to talk about the London Fog account. The key phrase of that conversation is "limit your exposure." Advice from one man-whore to I guess another.
Is there anythign morally redeeming about the show? So far not really. But I don't watch it for the morals. I watch it for the deep rich flawed and broken characters, the bright shiny and modern 60s of Dick Van Dyke, all the drinking adn interesting paranting styles. 2 bonus points if your 8 year old can mix drinks.

Argh my parents

About 10 years ago my parents divorced after 30 years of marriage. Then about a year ago they started dating each other. They never solved the property issue of daddy's name on the house and the lot. So now daddy is parking his heavy equipment on the lot and sort of reclaiming "part" of the life he walked out on. I say part because I know what or who in the next town over is keeping those two from restarting. And it isn't entirely her fault, so it's hard to be mad at her. So I'm annoyed at him.
Anyway, dad took mom out to dinner and breakfast last week. I have no idea what the hell those two are up to. So when I think of them, I say I'm happy they are hanging out and forming some sort of relationship, but it ends with me exclaiming "argh!"

The big question

Well I asked a question.
I got the answer I expected.
And the answer I was not expecting.

A special place in Hell

People want Hell.
Not for themselves, or for really nice people who don't believe in a triune G-d. No. Hell is for the people they hate. People who do bad things. Corrupt officials, the guy who cuts you off and gets away with it, jackasses. Hell. People want Hell for those people. If there is a god, his grace would be denied to those wrong doers, or he'd judge them to Hell, or somehow they'd get there without a G-d.
I'm willing to entertain the idea, I heard from my liberal priest (back when going to St. Georges) supposed that G-d's grace is extended to all, and he can save all, and even the worst of us can be welcomed into Heaven by G-d's grace. However, I don't believe there is no one in Hell. I do believe in the human ability to be stubborn into eternity and would deny that he is Lord or reject his love and doom themselves to Hell. Or a Hell.
I have various views of Heaven and Hell. If Heaven is an eternal Mass, or worshipfest of G-d, that would be Hell to someone. The idea of hanging out with Jesus and singing his praises sounds alright to me (I worry about bad worship music, yes, even in Heaven, Praise and Worship Pop music could sneak in).

Mikey's Church

Wallace Pres.
Originally uploaded by In Shaw

Well they've move out of the public high school auditorium and finally have a working church.
The worship space is multifunctional it seems as you can move the chairs around. There are no pews.
The good points, it's a shiny building with a screaming baby room. Every church needs a screamy baby room. May many churches be blest with screamy babies.

St. Mattress of the Holy Comforter

I try to avoid conversations where I will wind up saying really, really, super nice and kind people are going to Hell. I really try because I have no desire to be rude. But as of late I've been having conversations that force me into choosing to lie or be rude. My general desire is to avoid the conversation in the first place.
Anyway, I've been listening to a Unitarian. I don't believe Buddha, the Hindu gods, and everyone else's god is the same as mine. But I won't waste energy arguing this when the other person is invested in the all religions are the same philosophy. I simply prefer not to argue.
I believe in the great I AM, who is the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. The great three for one deal. I do not believe he is the same as the other gods that other humans worship. If he were the same as others he should have not bothered commanding that he is a jealous god, and the Israelites should have no other gods before him. That would have been a good opportunity to mention how he revealed himself to other nations in different forms, but he didn't. So I'll take him at his word he's it, the one and only.
Also there is the matter of Jesus. If you want just a Jewish teacher, go with Hillel the Elder. Jesus was the Word made flesh, the Lamb of G-d, not just some teacher. I do not drag myself to church almost every week, for a watered down deity, a nice guy, and warm and fuzzy teacher. If that were the case I'd switch to St. Mattress of the Holy Comforter. It is a warm and inviting space, with no liturgy, no creeds, or doctrine. Just think pleasant thoughts and feel the warmth. Or throw off the Holy Comforter if it gets too hot. Unfortunately, there comes a time when the Church of the morning springs calls and you have to get up.
Seriously, I want to sleep in all weekend.

The order of things

G-d, Family, Country. In that order.
Country is my employer. It is also the local government. Its laws and mores. It also includes the community I live in.
Family. Mom. Dad. Sis. Sis's family. Half-Sis. Cousins. 2nd Cousins. Uncles. Aunts. Distant relatives. Members of my ethnic group, sometimes. Sometimes they'll get lumped in with country.
G-d. The trinity or the 3 for 1 special on deities. Church structure. Community of believers, but they sometimes get thrown in with country. Add also ideologies, that sometimes belong with country and faith, which rests with G-d.

Recently I was asked, well more accurately, told of something where the questioner expected some sort of outrage or affirmation of their own anger at that something. I sensed their disappointment that I did not share their anger at the incident. I understood the anger, but did not share it. Mainly because it countered my faith and the Church (ideology?) I have freely chosen to adopt.
We parted and I let the encounter sink in, and wept. In the past few days it appears that the disappointment from the other person has not severed our relationship, which I value. Rationally, being of diverse minds and valuing different things, such an event was bound to occur.

I *heart* dystopias

Logan's Run, Soylent Green, Mad Max, Gattaca, 1984, Equilibrium, Idiocracy, Children of Men, Fahrenheit 451 (though that one reminded me too much of Dr. Who), The Island, and Wall-E.
They do not make me fearful of the future because I find part of the philosophy behind them flawed. For one I believe in rebellion. As long as there are teenagers on the planet there will be rebellion, and thus someone undermining the system. Secondly, there is a streak of contrarianism that flows though many of my associates and friends, which makes me believe that whatever grand scheme a government, super-corporation, Baptist theocrats that manage not to break up after the first year (Handmaid's Tale), or other large power that takes over the whole world, will be challenged, undermined, or ignored. Brave New World had the Savages, Fahrenheit 451 had the folks out in the woods reciting books to no one in particular, Gattaca had the love children (people who were not genetically designed), and so on.
The environmental hellfire and brimstone tv or cinematic bits showing a hellish Waterworld (yes, I watched it), or NYC of Soylent Green have their own problems. Humans are wonderfully adaptable. Yeah, a whole bunch of us will die off with any great change. But there are Eskimos (can't spell the proper native name) in the Hell I call Alaska and northern Canada, Aboriginals in the Outback, Arabs in the desert, Isrealites in the desert, and other people in places that are too cold, too hot, and just plain crappy.