Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Ah to be a free black woman

My goal one day is to own my house free and clear and have a decent FU fund. Financially I'm still slogging through. I don't know why it was a slog. Anyway the goal is freedom. I want to be free to run off to Florida and do absolutely nothing. Of course after 3 days I'll get bored and come back here seeking to be free to work on a project.
I want to be free from my stuff. Really do you own your stuff or does your stuff own you? Current goal is to clear out the basement. It would help if I didn't put anything else down there. The Goodwill box is filling up with clothes that I have finally come to admit, I probably won't wear, again.
I want to be free of burdensome expectations and duties. There are somethings I do because at some point I will get a reward, be it warm fuzzies or a fulfilled goal. There are things that don't relate to a bigger goal and I'm getting better at saying no. I don't have it down pat, but I'm getting better. And this also relates to being free of someone's or some group's idea that I owe them. Draw up the bill, itemize the services and I will pay legitimate debits that I incurred, but I will not be in perpetual servitude for vague concepts.
Going back to finances, I want to be financially secure. I don't want to be in a position where someone can dangle some half rotted carrot and I feel obligated to jump. Like with the way many colleges do with tenure and young PhDs. Luckily there is not much carrot dangling where I am, but I'm close enough to others where it is, and it ain't pretty.

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