Crappy Christian

"Practicing" Christian, because one day I'll get it right.

Tuesday, August 04, 2015

Oh, that's tempting, but no

We're looking around for daycare.
We have no children or even one kid yet. We are not pregnant.
We are in the process of adoption.
Just the process.
But we were advised to get that daycare thing lined up.
So many people have been helpful providing names of places that I or the Help should check out. One was a Catholic school with real live nuns that does infant care. They don't have the day care prices on line but the school tuition looks... if we had a school aged kid I'd totally put him or her in this school without batting an eye... provided the kid couldn't get into a neighborhood charter.
There are discounts for having more than 1 kid at the school and there is a discount for being Catholic, as there should be.
To get the Catholic discount, and it is a good discount, you have to have a letter from your priest. Easy peasy. Be a member of a parish, financially supporting the parish. Also, easy peasy. And most importantly, the kid must be baptized and Catholic. Nope.
With me being Catholic and the spouse being protestant, we have come to an agreement. Kids will be raised as really bad Baptists, until it is decided where the kid flourishes best. As we told our social worker, the child's relationship with Jesus is primary and they will go to the church where that relationship is best. Also I don't want any little lapsed Catholics as children. I also don't want little atheists or agnostics, either. So the poor little dears will have to go to church 2xs a week until I decide where they are best suited.
So it would be really tempting to baptize a baby for the Catholic discount, but I will resist.

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Sunday, July 12, 2015

Several in One

I've been meaning to post on a couple of topics but then something new happens. So I'm going to post them all at once.

At the cross

This hymn has been inside my head all day.
All weekend I've been bugged by a run in I had with a prostitute. Ho's Hobos and Joggers should stay out of the bike lane. It's a bike lane. Anyway I had rung my bell and she cursed at me saying I should move. It had been in my head to get her type back, but I experienced a small miracle and my husband's words (quoting the Bible) "Do not repay evil with evil" reminded me that I really should just let it go. But it is hard. I've decided the better come back is "Jesus loves you."
What does this have to do with the hymn in my head? Something to sing on my way to work as I pass the ladies serving the breakfast Johns. Otherwise nothing.

Catholic Deaconess- I'll take it

 I really don't think there is such an animal. Deacons are men and preferably ones who want to be priests. And in my husband's church, which also is a bit patriarchal, there are no deaconess. Well none since the split with the PCUSA.
The last week's mass was another where B & J did not show up, nor did K. Worse Fr. W. was on vacay or somewhere else, so Fr. L whose church is kinda crashing at ours, celebrated mass. Fr. L still hasn't gotten the rhythm of the Saturday quickie mass. He's got the short homily down but there were some parts (the creed) that got skipped. Now why is it important that B&J show up. J does the readings. I also do readings but I have been doing more of the readings since people aren't showing up due to Summer. And B & J take the offering, and know when to take the offering. And J also helps with the distribution of the host. J does a lot. If B&J aren't there Fr. W pretty much knows who to pull in to assist with the mass. Fr. L, and to be very fair any other substitute priest, would not. So I took charge (I did not want to) read the readings, got the hubby (who was in attendance with me) to help me with collecting the offering.
After the mass there was a regular & possible neighborhood character floating around begging for help. I have seen her interacting with Fr. W before and know she uses the church to get food. There is a food pantry somewhere in the church but I don't know much about it. Fr. L was unsure what to do or how to handle it as the people who normally deal with this matter were all unreachable. So I jumped in ans helped. I told her I'd run to the Giant on the next block and buy her 3 things, after a too long exchange of what she couldn't eat (high blood pressure, diabetes, really bad teeth) which seemed to be anything healthy (no salad, no green beans). She asked me if I was the deaconess. No, but I'll take that title to get this over with. The three things were hamburger meat, cheddar cheese and a roll of toilet tissue. You know what is near impossible to find in the store on the 4th of July in the evening? Hamburger meat. But I found it and lucky me the last few packages were for grass fed organic cows. $12 later, plus the .05 cent bag fee, she got her 3 items.

 You can't say I left the Episcopalians to get away from the gay

I am very happy that B. brings his non-Catholic partner C to mass and they are regular attendees. Same for A. who has been bringing, or has been brought by due to his illness, his non-Catholic partner (with the rings I suspect 'spouse') J. I love all these men, Catholic and non-Catholic and enjoy their presence. I also love that the diocese had a letter for everyone, that the church inserted into the bulletin clarifying its stance regarding marriage.
I was chatting with a friend at the Help's church about the continuing downward spiral of the Episcopal Church. But he summed up my feelings well saying, "Not your circus, not your problem." So with that I'm going to stop giving to all Episcopal and Anglican (even those who separated) because that's no longer my problem. There are other denominations going to Hell in a handbasket as well as they follow Mammon and the god of the zietgiest, but they are not my problem.
I am trusting the Holy Roman Catholic Church with my soul and pray that it will stay faithful to the teachings of Our Savior. I trust her to help guide me in my relations with my gay brothers and sisters in Christ as they seek G-d in a church that respects life, doesn't water down the gospel, and is universal with a place for the left and the right. 

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Thursday, May 21, 2015

#Rednoseday #joykill

Somewhere in the Bible it says to give without over thinking it.
Screw it, I overthink it, but we give.
A co-worker alerted me that it is Red Nose Day. Now, I remember Red Nose Day from my time in the UK and because I love British Television. So I am aware of it. Not so much aware of how useful it is.
Red Nose Day has jumped the pond and is over here in the Land of the Free & Home of the Brave.
It would help if I actually watched more television but the gist I get is that they are raising money for childhood poverty with promises that lives will be changed. I looked at the website for more information. They are vague on the desired outcomes, well besides wearing red noses and raising money. Not too much on the dull stuff regarding how the money will be used. Couldn't find jack on which organizations will get any of the money raised.
And now my critical thinking skills kick in.
This is bull.
There is something in a charity you know, and you know what they do and you see their work on the ground. There is also something in knowing charities you wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole because they are ineffective, have bad leadership, engage in things you despise, or something else that doesn't sit well with you. So I wouldn't be quick to support something where I can't see who is doing the heavy lifting and if any heavy lifting is being done and if it is just not a feel good exercise. Maybe there is a list of charities that are being supported by Red Nose Day but it's too buried in the site for my taste if it is there.

Want to feed people?
a. Find people who need food and feed them
b. Find who feeds the people in your community and give them money.

Want to help kids get out of poverty?
1. Figure out what gets kids out of poverty
    a. practice it in your own community
    b. give to organizations that do that thing or set of things that gets kids out of poverty
2. Learn about people who used to be poor children and aren't poor anymore. Tell people what you've learned.

Education is one of the things that helps get people out of poverty. Good education that provides marketable skills. But it is just one of several parts of a ladder needed to help, assist, people out of poverty.

But it is easier to have a party and focus on the spectacle than the hard work.


Friday, May 01, 2015

Practice, Practice, Practice

My thoughts are on training. At the place where they pay me, we have lots (I consider lots) of training. Thankfully, most of it is on-line. We also get memos of policy, some of those are written in a form of English that I understand. I have a graduate degree. I have two graduate degrees, I should be able to understand a stupid policy statement. But alas, jargon, inside knowledge of what a vaguely named department that is 2 weeks old, and pretzel logic makes it difficult.
What does this have to do with faith, Christianity and such? Practice. Our household is of practicing Christians. Not just believing Christians. We pray, not as much as we should, but it is a daily practice. The Help reads the Bible to me nightly, not every night (esp. if we're really sleepy), but most nights before bed he reads a chapter to me. We're on Philippians. We go to church once a week, sometimes twice, not always the same church. As a Catholic, when we travel, we sure as heck attend mass. But unlike that practice which kinda sorta lines up with the happy thoughts in our head, the missives and training at work don't always line up with the practice.
The biggest problem is security, but it would be not in my best interest to talk about that in detail. Let's say policy and practice don't really line up.
There is training. That is not always practiced. We are told a certain system is to do X and certain personnel respond to it as so. But in the day to day, it does not live up to that.
There is trust. Or the lack thereof. Despite the memos and other communication, a certain practice says daily, "we don't trust you." There is no daily/weekly practice here of 'we need you to help us preserve this', 'we need you to help people find things', or 'we need to work together for a true common goal.'
Some training, not all, is forgotten after it is done, because it doesn't relate to the culture of the place. There is the training, and there is the way you really do it. The practice of it. 

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Monday, December 08, 2014

This Catholicism thing can be a PITA

Today is the celebration of the Immaculate Conception, or a day when I have to drag my butt to church and it is not a weekend day, a day of obligation.
Yes, I pondered forgetting about it and just confessing missing it later, but when I remembered it (a better person would have put the day in her calendar with an alarm) I had a good 20 minutes to hoof it over to the nearest Catholic church during my lunch hour. An hoof it I did, and when I showed up there was almost nothing but standing room, but after some looking around I managed to squeeze in a pew that had as much leg room as a cheap flight to Florida.
Nothing too hard about it, except my own church as spoiled me with the '30 minutes or your next mass is free' speed. To get a mass to be short it helps to cut out all the singing. The signing did not help because some churches have different music they sing parts of the mass to and since it has been years since I've regularly attended a singing mass, I have no clue. I know the words but the music throws me for a loop. I know I wasn't the only one because I heard a bit of confusion during the bits we the congregation say/sing. It didn't help that the acoustics at times made the speaker sound as clear as announcement on the metro.
I fulfilled my obligation.   Rushing back I was thinking, my schedule was way simpler when I was an Episcopal. But but then again, maybe I was tired. I went to mass on Saturday and then lesson and carols on Sunday....

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Sunday, November 16, 2014

Songs for the saints

Being raised Baptist, I have uneasy relationship with the saints. I can get my mind around the idea of asking the dead for intercessions as we ask live friends to pray for us. However I see the relationship with the saints uneven.
A former, now retired, co-worker introduced me to the poem/prayer "Saint Anthony, St. Anthony, help me look around. Help make what was lost, now to be found." I only say this when desperate and I sing it. It sound like a minor song in a Broadway musical. Slightly jazzy, and slow.
When I started riding my bike to work, something I'm doing less of as it gets colder, I thought I needed a song for Saint Christopher, patron saint of travelers. I tried a song, similar to the one I gave St. Anthony, but it wasn't right. So I made up a song, a different, very bluesy song to sing while I biked avoiding pot holes and cars that seem to be blind to the bike lane.

St. Chris
St. Chris
St. Chris in the city
I ask that you pray and have pity.
Intercede for us
So I don't get hit by a bus.
Pray for the bikers, the walkers and the cars on the road.
Pray for the truckers who carry a load.


Wednesday, September 10, 2014


I do not care for football. I don't watch it. I don't pretend to understand it. And really if I were queen of the world I'd eliminate American Football from the face of the earth. Despite my disinterest, I can't seem to escape the story of Ray Rice, a local (Baltimore Ravens) football player who knocked out his wife (then fiancee) in a hotel elevator. The response from the media has been one of shock and outrage. The news cycle doesn't seem to be done with the story, because an indefinite suspension, doesn't appear to be enough for the masses. Hopefully, the cycle will move towards redemption, for both Ray and Janay Rice, but right now I'm not hearing much about redemption.

What I am hearing is punishment and anger. The anger is justified and understandable. Punishment, necessary. Unfortunately, it has resulted in the NFL throwing both Ray and his wife out into the cold. What they need is love, paths towards forgiveness and redemption. What would have been nice, would have been for the NFL to suspend Rice for say a season, AND provide marriage/family counseling and anger management to the couple, to wrap their arms around this family and say, "we abhor what you (Ray) did and what we saw, but we want you to be a better man and a stronger woman, and we want to walk with you to that better place." But no, that's not what the masses want.

Thankfully, our Lord and Father is not the NFL. He offers redemption and forgiveness because he knows we are royal screw-ups deeply in need of both. I have seen G-d redeem my father, who was an angry drunk and abusive husband. When I doubt the Lord, I remember the miracle he worked in my parents' life how he brought back to life the dry bones of a marriage of 30 years after 10 years of divorce. No human could have brought forth that, no human (not his family nor friends) convinced my father to stop drinking and to heal whatever pain he was trying to self-medicate. 

Our Lord has redeemed thieves, murderers, and the like. He redeemed Saul, a man who sought to eliminate early Christians, we know him as Paul, author of several books in the New Testament. He redeemed John Newton, a slave trader in the 18th Century, who we know as the author of "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me...."

"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus."
Romans 3:23-24

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