PCA vs everyone else

Once again my beloved is getting circular again in worrying about the fact that I'm now catholic and he's presbyrterian, specifically PCA. He really focuses in on the Roman Catholic part, however I think we'd still have the same problem if I were still Episcopalian. I'm trying to be all Alfred Newmanish about it, "What me worry?" and all, and let him do all the fretting. The 'why' of all the different demonimations also confuses and flusters him. I, say no big deal. Mainly because I refuse to drive myself crazy about it. Hey, my parents are Baptist and just as much loved by G-d. He's bothered by the differences in our faith practices and the differences between the PCA and the PCUSA. I think his mom is PCUSA.
Protestant demonimations can break off into various little bits. I figure that's the nature of em. We had a talk about the PCA and how strict- orthodox- [insert preferred adjective here] it is.
I couldn't help to think of this joke:

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump. I ran over and said: "Stop. Don't do it."
"Why shouldn't I?" he asked.
"Well, there's so much to live for!"
"Like what?"
"Are you religious?"
He said: "Yes."
I said: "Me too. Are you Christian or Buddhist?"
"Christian."
"Me too. Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
"Protestant."
"Me too. Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
"Baptist."
"Wow. Me too. Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"
"Baptist Church of God."
"Me too. Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God."
"Me too. Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?"
He said: "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915."
I said: "Die, heretic scum," and pushed him off.

Cut the joke down a bit, and exchange Baptist Church of God for PCA and Baptist Church of the Lord for PCUSA, and have the PCUSA as the jumper and you can have a similar joke, in my eyes.
But my love's concerns are serious, and he needs answers. He has his fears and worries, which might not be so if he was raised actively in a church.