First, I know my puny little human mind is limited. And it is not going to make sense, because I'm trying to work it out.
G-d is love. Love, a force that can go beyond the definition of space and time. Love, a huge powerful force that comes in all sorts of forms. Worse yet, it cannot be measured by science (if it can I want to know who mom loves more), nor can it be placed in controlled experiments. That might go with the mystery of it. You can't control it. In it's raw powerful forms it just plain f'ing scary.
The podcasts and readings by people of faith about Harry Potter, which seem to make it out to be a series of love (fraternal, paternal, etc) stories, the invocation of the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and its themes of love, and other media I get that discuss G-d's life changing miricle inducing love, has got me thinking about it, in its various manifestations.
Going back to the G-d is love idea as a force of love, is just too mysterious. Some parts you can figure out, and some parts are beyond you and you just have to go with it. The problem with going with it is I have to give up some control. "Give it all up to the Lord" I'm told, but then I'm giving it up to this mysterious force that has a wonky timetable (patience they call it) and has its own agenda (his will be done).
Unlike plain old power, brute force, love gets ahold of your heart. Melts it. Makes you want to engage in time consuming acts of charity (form of love), forgive those who wouldn't respond in kind, and engage in other sacrifices. It makes herion addicts give up the smack, it makes martyrs, it changes minds. My problem is when you know what direction love is taking your heart and your logical/ analytical brain fights it because it makes no sense and it is time consuming.
I should note that occasionally my brain wants to sleep in all Sunday, and sometimes I think it has a point.
Once again I digress. So I pray. I am praying a (um I don't remember the exact wording) a special intercession or special 'i' something 'request' would be an easier term at the request of a co-worker. I say prayers of thanks and throw in my own requests to this mysterious force that cannot be bargained with and hope that His will won't bite me in the butt.
My brain is telling me I'm not making any sense and I should go to bed.